A Tuxedo for a Third Grader

My youngest son, Daniel, was named Mr. Third Grade. His excitement bubbled over as he told me about riding on a float in the parade. Then he said I had to buy him a tuxedo to wear.

Now, I’m all about encouraging my kids, but a tuxedo? For a third grader?

Every day he asked me when we were going shopping for his tuxedo. I tried convincing him to go simple and just wear a nice button-up shirt and dress slacks, but he simply would not hear of it.

“Mama,” he said, “I have to look my best if I’m going to represent the whole third grade class.”

Who can argue with a kid wanting to look his best? So, I got online and found an affordable kid-sized tuxedo and ordered Mr. Third Grade his outfit.

 

My Kids Are Different

My oldest son is simple. He doesn’t want to be in the spotlight and wouldn’t be caught dead in a tuxedo. Carter is perfectly happy in the back corner, wearing his boots and jeans. He doesn’t talk much and eases through life at a steady, reasonable pace. We’ve always joked that he was born a little old man.

But Daniel is the complete opposite. Extroverted, he loves to be the center of attention. His imagination is always busy, and the words never stop flowing from his overactive brain. He’s spunky, sarcastic, and hears his own music and marches to that special beat.

Parenting these opposites can often be a challenge. When do I push one out of their comfort zone and when should I reign the other one back in? When do I give in and when do I say no? These two continually teach me with their unique and wonderful personalities.

 

Loved and Safe

In the car recently, Daniel read our devotion for the day and then we answered the questions. One question asked: Have you ever been bullied or felt unloved? I curiously waited for his answer.

He scrunched his face and looked at me with the most bewildered look. “I’ve never felt that way.” Then he went back to reading as if he was truly offended by the question.

My heart swelled hearing his answer. Daniel is truly a happy child. He sings in the shower and dances everywhere he goes. He carries his stuffed animals around and gives each one a unique name and voice. Everything is exciting and life is an adventure that includes everyone, no matter who they are.

As I thought about my sweet boy and his honest response, I realized how much joy life can steal from us as we grow older. One day, my tender little boy will be faced with hard circumstances. One day, someone selfish and mean may come and try to steal his joy. My job, as a parent is to protect that innocence as long as possible.

Our life should be one of safety and innocence. One that allows both of my kids to be themselves without expectations to be anyone different than who God made them to be. They need to be loved and protected as long as we can possibly do it.

 

Fostering Growth

As both of my boys grow older, I want to be their biggest cheerleader. When they doubt or downplay their abilities, I need to be the first one building them up and pushing them to try again. If my oldest wants the next book in a series, I need to acquire that book. When my youngest wants do a puppet show with his stuffed animals, I need to join him.

Every child is different. I see myself in both of my boys but neither of them is just like me. Some people say my husband got one and I got one, but in truth, they just inherited a little bit of both of us. It’s been such an amazing journey watching them grow into little humans who are unique and special, and I am blessed to continue fostering this growth every day.

 

A Parent’s Calling

We, as parents, are given a special privilege to raise our children. God has entrusted them in our hands, and we must do all we can to ensure they are given the best, safest, and most loved lives possible. Our world is cruel, and they will face hardships soon enough, they don’t need me adding that to their little lives when I can build them up and cheer them on.

No matter what, we must put ourselves aside at times—our desires, understanding, and tendencies—and allow our children to do the things that excite and motivate them. Even if it means letting one hide in the corner every now and then and buying the other one a tuxedo to wear in a parade. We must help them to become the best versions of themselves possible and train them in the ways of the Lord the entire way there.

                “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

(For more on parenting: Imperfect Parenting)

© Copyright Christy Bass Adams, October 2023,  All images from Canva