“Dear God, thank you that I was abused as a child, and that my first marriage ended in divorce and the second in the death of my husband. Thank you that I had cancer, suffered a stroke, and was temporarily blind.”
WAIT A MINUTE!
I know what you’re thinking – What is this woman talking about? How can she be thankful for such horrible things? Is she some sort of Pollyanna? Puh-leez!
If you’ve met me, heard me speak, or gotten an email from me with my automatic signature, you know my title is, The Queen of Resilience. That doesn’t just mean I’ve faced a lot of problems in my life. Oh, no, much more than that. Not only have I lived through more negative issues than most people, but I’ve also bounced back from them. That has made all the difference in the world.
RESILIENCE IS NOT WALLOWING
A friend once told me she deserved the title more than I did, as she had faced a lot of negative things in her life. Not wanting to offend her, I didn’t reply but thought to myself, “You may have faced problems, but you haven’t recovered from any of them. You’re wallowing in them.” Not the same as bouncing back.
THANKFUL FOR THE BAD THINGS
You see, I can be thankful for the bad things I’ve been through because now I see the positives that came as a result. I’ve helped others who’ve gone through divorce or widowhood; I’ve comforted abuse victims; and I even wrote a book to help cancer warriors and caregivers.
So, instead of being angry for being abused by my dad, I can forgive him and help others move past their anger and bitterness. Instead of giving up on life just because of a medical diagnosis, I can share hope.
YOUR EXPERIENCES CAN LEAD TO MINISTRY
In fact, I’m involved in several ministries at my church that focus on helping folks deal with the very things I’ve faced. And, not to brag, but I’m an expert on having rotten things in my life. (Well, that’s not anything I brag about!)
Too often, we’re only thankful for the good things that come our way. We sit around the Thanksgiving dinner table and list the many wonderful people and things in our lives. Not to say that’s wrong, but this year, let’s dig deeper. Remember at least one not-so-good thing that happened to you but eventually helped you or someone else.
REFRAMING THE PAST
I once heard the term “reframing.” Normally, that would mean putting a picture into a different frame, maybe so it would look antique, so it would match others on the wall, or just to improve its appearance.
But reframing also works on memories. We see our personal view of a memory or experience, but there may have been others in the same situation who viewed it differently. Try to look at it from their point of view: What were they feeling, seeing, thinking? And how did that situation affect them? And what good came of it?
SAVING MY SON
I remember catching a hot pan my young son accidentally knocked off the stove. He had bumped the cool handle, but I had grabbed the hot pan itself to keep it from spilling onto my precious son’s head. That was not a good memory for me. In fact, the blisters and recovery were painful, but it worked out really well for my son, who doesn’t even remember it.
TRULY GIVE THANKS
So this Thanksgiving, instead of giving thanks for just the good things we have, let’s be thankful for everything, the good AND the bad.
What are you truly thankful for?
Debbie, thank you for sharing your powerful testimony. Happy Thanksgiving!