I sat twirling my wedding band in the still of the morning. Sweet memories rose on waves of tears crashing against my new normal — a normal defined by the talons of adultery. My husband of 31 years was gone, lured away by a young seductress. I was left to pick up the painful pieces.
How could I possibly face tomorrow?
Over time my body unfurled from its fetal position. My mind ceased its spinning, and my spirit grew stronger. But my heart continues to bleed. Unexpectedly. At the strangest times. Completely out of nowhere.
I know I’m not alone in this pain that slices through my heart over and over again. Unfortunately, the sin of adultery runs rampant through our society. I’ve discovered that women and men across all races, creeds, and social status are being swallowed by its hungry appetite for destruction.
But I want you to know we don’t have to let adultery define us, nor do we have to bow to its consuming power. It’s not easy and it’s not even natural to withstand its havoc and annihilation of all things good. But it is possible. With God, all things are possible.
We must decide that with God we will make it to the other side and we will witness beauty from the ashes.
Will you decide that today? Will you ask the Lord to come into the carnage left behind by the betrayal of trust? Our God is faithful to hear us when we cry out. But He won’t stampede our hearts — He’s waiting for us to offer our immense pain to Him and ask Him what to do with it.
Then the healing will begin. Slowly. Surely.
Healing involves pouring out the poison of raw, dreadful emotions. Pour them out before your Father as an offering of trust before the One who holds your broken heart. Then sit quietly before Him. Be still. Cease striving and remember that He is God. Remember that He is El Roi — the God who sees and knows all about it. This step can be painful because it will bring you face to face with the trauma you have endured, but it is essential to begin your healing.
When your body lays limp from the disposal of the vile, the Lord your God will hold you near and whisper words of love and affirmation. He will cradle you with His warm embrace.
And then I urge you to yield to the thought of forgiveness. Let it start there — to yield to the idea, to line up with the prompting of the Holy Spirit. You don’t have to travel from A -Z on a jetpack, but you do need to begin the journey to forgiveness. Not for the adulterer or the seductress, but for yourself. Holding on to unforgiveness is like putting poison in your own drink, drinking it, and then waiting for the other person to die. You are the one who is dying a slow death unless you make a determination in your heart to journey towards forgiveness.
We are not required to reconcile under these conditions, nor are we required to trust.
But we are required to forgive.
And just like the Truth, forgiveness will set you free.