Mom’s Get Scared too

It was probably a decade ago now. But I remember the anxiousness of that night.

Corey’s gear was packed. I knew how important these bi-annual adventure trips were to my husband, but I hated the thought of spending the long weekend alone with our three little boys. Corey’s getaways give him much needed time away from the concerns of everyday life. But I found that while he was letting go of his worries, I was letting mine skyrocket.

I dreaded the dark nights; fearful that something would happen and Corey wouldn’t be here to protect us. I felt the heavy weight of guarding my children from the unknowns that seemed to multiply in the darkness.

But one particularly restless night when Corey was states away climbing a mountain, a storm blew in. And as I listened to the wind howl outside my bedroom window, I knew I needed to ask God to help me with my fear, because I couldn’t overcome it on my own.

I picked up my Bible and began reading from the Psalms. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.”

Psalm 91:14

That night my perspective changed. The storm continued, and I still longed for Corey to be home because I know he would lay down his life to protect me. But a peace filled me as I grasped the truth that God had already given up his son for that very reason.

I still don’t treasure the nights that my protector husband is gone, but I confidently lean on the knowledge that my protector God is with me even when I am alone in the dark. He is a gentle and carrying protector. It doesn’t always feel like it at the time, but it’s a blessing to me when God puts me in a position where I am forced to trust him and lean into his gentle and protective arms. Through these times, my trust has deepened.

Kim Harms

Kim Harms is a writer and speaker who is represented by Literary Agent Karen Neumair of Credo Communications. She is under contract with Familius Publishing for her first book, tentatively titled Life Reconstructed. Harms has a degree in English: Literary Studies from Iowa State University and was a regular contributor at the former Today's Christian Woman. She underwent a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries in 2016 after being diagnosed with breast cancer and writes about her Life Reconstructed at kimharms.net. Central Iowa is home, and she lives there with her husband Corey and their 3 ever-growing man-children.

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