It was probably a decade ago now. But I remember the anxiousness of that night.
Corey’s gear was packed. I knew how important these bi-annual adventure trips were to my husband, but I hated the thought of spending the long weekend alone with our three little boys. Corey’s getaways give him much needed time away from the concerns of everyday life. But I found that while he was letting go of his worries, I was letting mine skyrocket.
I dreaded the dark nights; fearful that something would happen and Corey wouldn’t be here to protect us. I felt the heavy weight of guarding my children from the unknowns that seemed to multiply in the darkness.
But one particularly restless night when Corey was states away climbing a mountain, a storm blew in. And as I listened to the wind howl outside my bedroom window, I knew I needed to ask God to help me with my fear, because I couldn’t overcome it on my own.
I picked up my Bible and began reading from the Psalms. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.”
Psalm 91:14
That night my perspective changed. The storm continued, and I still longed for Corey to be home because I know he would lay down his life to protect me. But a peace filled me as I grasped the truth that God had already given up his son for that very reason.
I still don’t treasure the nights that my protector husband is gone, but I confidently lean on the knowledge that my protector God is with me even when I am alone in the dark. He is a gentle and carrying protector. It doesn’t always feel like it at the time, but it’s a blessing to me when God puts me in a position where I am forced to trust him and lean into his gentle and protective arms. Through these times, my trust has deepened.
