A Match Made in Heaven
How We Met
Her name is Lou, short for Maria Lourdes, and she became the love of my life. I believe that though our relationship is not perfect, it is still a match made in heaven. I met her in a Bible school class at my local church. Lou had a crush on my friend, and we were not interested in each other at the time. Soon Lou left the church and joined another congregation.
Five years later on November 9th, 1999, Lou felt lonely. She had a strong desire to go to John’s Christian Bookstore. This was a popular bookstore in our area that many people liked to go to. When she entered the doorway, she immediately noticed me and I noticed her. At this time, she was 38 and I was 34.
The conversation began with Lou; who asked me about my best friend, the one she liked. I told her he lived in Colorado. We attended Bible College together there. I decided to move back to Chicagoland after graduating, but he remained in the Rocky Mountain state.
We stood talking amidst the books for about ten minutes. Lou told me she sang on the worship team at her church. I had a heart for worship and served in various capacities at my congregation. I could tell that she loved the Lord, and her beauty captured me.
Soon Lou ended our conversation and strolled to the back of the bookstore. She sat at a table and began reading a book entitled, The Ten Commandments of Dating. Lou silently prayed, “Lord, he seems like a nice guy. I could use a friend. If he is the one you have for me, let him sit with me and ask for my phone number.”
I peered past the shelves loaded with a myriad of colorful volumes and gazed at Lou. I thought to myself, I think I like this girl. And if I don’t do something right now, I probably will never see her again. But I’m the shy type. What if I ask her if she would like to meet some of the old friends that were at the first church where we met? I could ask her to exchange phone numbers with me.
My heart pounded. I picked up some music books and then walked up to her and asked if I could sit with her. She said yes. Then, according to plan, I nervously asked for her phone number. She gave it to me.
Our Next Meeting
Soon the night was over, and we said our goodbyes. After a week, Lou prayed, “Lord, Tom seems like a nice guy. If he’s the one for me, have him call me.” After an hour, the phone rang and I spoke on the other line. I came to her house a week later with my guitar and a store-bought Bundt cake.
We talked and worshipped the Lord together. It was during this time that I believed Lou was to be my future wife. She felt the same about me, but she needed many confirmations from God before she would surrender. I know everyone’s story is different, but I believe God gave Lou to me. We are a match made in heaven.
Our courtship overflowed with dreamy feelings. Lou and I spent a lot of time together. We were wise enough to honor God with our bodies and to wait to engage in sex until marriage. I thank God for that.
I started talking about marriage after our third month of dating. She said it was too soon. Lou didn’t agree to marry me until April 7, 2001, which was roughly a year-and-a-half from our meeting at the bookstore. I remember that day clearly. We sat in church and Lou began crying. I knew God was talking to her. After a few hours, she told me the Lord wanted us to marry for His purposes. We wed on June 28, 2002. We have been married for 21 years now.
Differences Between Dating and Marriage
I can testify that dating is much different than marriage. Dating is a lot like surfing on the waves of emotion. It can be intoxicating. But when you marry someone, you see the complete person – the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is a lot harder to pretend to be someone perfect when you are with them day in and day out. Also when you are married, the feelings you have for your spouse can change like the colors in a kaleidoscope. You will not always feel love for your spouse. We learned that love is a choice, not a feeling.
Principles to Apply in Marriage
Here are some principles we have learned that help our marriage grow. We’ve begun to implement these– but we are in no way perfect in practicing them.
- Marriage is a union of three – husband, wife, and Jesus.
- Always put God first – even before your mate.
- Ask for God’s help often in your marriage.
- Serve your spouse. Let service be your lifestyle.
- Date often.
- Listen to your partner, especially to those things that they care deeply about.
- Speak your partner’s love language (Taken from the “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman). A love language is the way you best receive love. My wife likes to be offered acts of service, while I respond positively to words of affirmation.
- Always choose to forgive each other.
- Do not entertain divorce as an option.
In my opinion, the word that best describes the couple’s courtship period is romance. And the word that best describes a successful marriage is love. The Greek word for this kind of love is agape. It is a love that covers over a multitude of wrongs. It is a love that forgives every time, and cares for the other even when the other person does not reciprocate. Of course, romance is not only for those who date before marriage. When a man and woman are committed to the Lord and His principles they will find fulfillment in the area of romance and intimacy.
In Conclusion
Whether you’re single or married, I hope my story encouraged you. No love story is the same. Some seem more spectacular than others. If your relationship advances to marriage, I hope you will cherish your spouse and put into practice the things I mentioned. May you too enjoy a relationship that you can consider as a match made in heaven.
No matter how you met and no matter how your story has progressed, you can surrender your relationship to the Lord. If your union has been sour in any way, the Lord can make it sweeter. This does not mean everything will flow effortlessly. Lou and I struggle at times. We argue with one another, but we have learned the importance of reconciling. We are a work in progress, as are all of us. If you dedicate your relationship to the Father, He can make your marriage a match made in heaven.
