Mom turned ninety years old on April 12, 2020. In February my sister, brother, and I began planning a birthday to remember.
Planning a Birthday to Remember
Typically, we don’t pay much attention to birthdays in our family. We send cards and occasionally give a gift, but usually nothing more than a special meal. Cake is optional. However, we wanted to make Mom’s ninetieth a birthday to remember. So, we planned, prepared, publicized, and put Mom on notice. A surprise never entered our minds. That would have been almost impossible to pull off on our sharp-as-a-tack matriarch. Plus, she would have wanted to look her best on such a momentous occasion with all those guests. Her involvement also guaranteed we would invite everyone she wanted to attend.
Although we did not plan a huge affair—a reception at the church with family and friends—the fellowship hall would have been packed, with people spilling into adjoining classrooms and out on the church lawn. As one of eleven children, Mom had enough nieces and nephews to fill the church several times. We knew many would not make it, but we also knew many would. Confirmations came from several states as well as from numerous in-state family, friends, and church members. Mom alternated between her usual “You shouldn’t go to all that trouble,” and “That will cost too much,” to excitement over everyone coming to share her special day.
A Questionable Day
A few weeks before the big event, almost everything was in order—contacts made, food ordered, entertainment lined up, photographers in place, supplies purchased or borrowed.
And then …
We began to hear rumblings about a vicious virus. At first, we paid little attention. Reports from other countries, followed by a few in the United States, caused no personal concern. We prayed for those affected but expected this bug, like others before it, to eventually dissipate.
A few in-state reports caused us to take greater notice.
Mom was the first to express the reservations we all began to feel. When a nephew in a neighboring state, close to Mom’s age, was hospitalized from an unknown illness with COVID-19 symptoms, she said she wondered if we should postpone the event. In addition to that nephew, many others who planned to attend fell into the high-risk population for the virus.
At that point, most public places, including churches, remained open. Nevertheless, we chose to err on the side of caution. We contacted the pastor and the person who prepared the church bulletins to request they undo announcements made the previous week. We also backtracked our other contacts and resolved to make the best of a bad situation.
We considered a small family gathering with the families of Mom’s three children, two grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. However, we soon abandoned that plan as well. None of us wanted to risk infecting one another, especially Mom, with a life-threatening illness.
A Birthday to Remember, Plan B
When April 12 rolled around, Mom’s celebration consisted of cards, calls, social media messages (yes, Mom used social media), groceries set inside the back porch instead of a feast on a table, other drive-by deliveries, and conversations from the front yard while Mom and our brother, who lived with her, sat on the porch.
Were we disappointed? Yes. Do we regret our decision? Not at all. Birthdays are simply days on a calendar. Mom, a tough cookie, taught us long before to trust God, give thanks, and make the most of every day, regardless of the circumstances. As a result, we looked to God for direction in the days ahead, thanked God for 90-plus years with our mom, and awoke each day with determination to make it the best day possible. With God’s presence, why worry?
Making Every Day a Day to Remember
We may not have celebrated the way we wanted. However, we kept everyone safe and looked forward to more days with the special lady who happened to be our mom. She remained with us in her own home until a few months past her ninety-first birthday. She and our brother cared for one another. She drove short distances and enjoyed family taxi service for longer trips. She cooked for and entertained family and friends in her own fun-loving, feisty way within the limits caused by the virus. A stroke finally slowed her down and required a therapeutic setting. While in the hospital, her body said enough. We miss her but remain thankful for each moment with her and every one of her many birthdays.
We may not have had a party, but one goal was achieved with Mom’s ninetieth. It was definitely a birthday to remember.
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children” (Proverbs 17:6 NIV).
