{"id":18101,"date":"2017-10-13T06:00:23","date_gmt":"2017-10-13T10:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/?p=18101"},"modified":"2017-09-20T10:09:48","modified_gmt":"2017-09-20T14:09:48","slug":"the-divine-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/","title":{"rendered":"When “no” means “I love you.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 As a parent, I flopped at saying \u201cno.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0 Having grown up with an unreasonable step-dad, I preferred the kind and friendly \u201cMaybe,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019ll see,\u201d which usually translated to \u201cyes.\u201d This penchant for affirmatives explains why the kids came to me for favors ten times more often than they asked my husband\u00a0Kevin. His \u201cMaybe\u201d usually meant \u201cNo.\u201d To children, “no” never means “I love you.”<\/p>\n

A few times, I surprised myself and embraced a \u201cno\u201d with fervor. One was when our son Ron wanted to quit school. He had recently celebrated his tenth birthday, and approached me with a proclamation: \u201cMom, I already know everything, so I don\u2019t need to go to school anymore.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so,<\/strong> Ron. You know a lot, but you don\u2019t know everything. You are not quitting school.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stubborn tears clouded his eyes. \u201cI do, Mom. I know everything!\u201d <\/em>\u00a0I would’ve\u00a0\u00a0laughed if he wasn\u2019tso serious. Softening my voice in mercy\u00a0<\/strong>toward his naivety, <\/strong>I\u00a0remained firm. \u201cNevertheless, Ron, you are staying in school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

That little conversation took place over twenty years\u00a0ago. Two Bachelor of Arts degrees now grace his wall from the University where he made Dean\u2019s list several times. I hope he\u2019s thankful I said \u201cno.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

When “no” meant “I love you” the Second Time Around<\/h4>\n

When our daughter Esther was a teenager wanting to wear tight jeans, watch R-rated movies, and date before she was ready, we squared our shoulders, lifted our chins and remained impervious to her cries<\/strong> of, \u201cEveryone else\u2026\u201d I hope her future husband is relieved we told her, \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

How many times has God said \u201cno\u201d to me, and I thought He was being unreasonable like my step-dad. Then I discovered instead that He was steering me away from danger or toward blessings. Like a child, I could not comprehend why God refused to give me what I wanted. With adult perception, I see that His \u201cno\u201d was the kindest form of love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
Alexas_Fotos<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

God\u2019s \u201cno\u201d in my life meant moving from LA to rural Paris, IL., where Kevin and I pastor the most devoted flock we\u2019ve had in over thirty years of ministry. We live in the loveliest house we\u2019ve ever lived in. And we\u2019re part of a warm and caring community.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had told God dozens of times that I didn’t want to go back into the ministry after we left our last church. Living the life of an average, ordinary person<\/strong> with no pressure to carry out anyone\u2019s expectations and no pedestal to try to stay on made me feel like a bird uncaged. I did not want to leave the friendships I had built up over twenty years, or my favorite restaurants and malls.<\/p>\n

Father Knows Best<\/h4>\n

But God knew better.<\/strong> He knew we\u2019d make supportive new friends, find new favorite restaurants, and never miss the malls. He knew that moving us here would open doors of ministry for both of us that we\u2019d never had in L.A. So, He said \u201cno.\u201d And, we\u2019re so thankful He did.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At times, it is necessary to say through tears of disappointment and an aching heart, \u201cLord, I know you love me, and I trust You. If you say no, it must be because saying yes would hurt me.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"It\u2019s okay to tell God you are disappointed, even angry at how something has turned out. But then trust His goodness more than you trust your own perception. He can see over the next hill in our lives. He knows better than we do what roadblocks will keep us from succeeding and what fruit stands will nourish us along the way.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trust the Divine “no”<\/strong><\/p>\n

We only have to believe His love enough to accept the \u201cno\u2019s\u201d when they come, and realize that someday we will thank Him when our name ends up on the dean\u2019s list or we find \u201cMr. Wonderful\u201d or we get to live in the best place on earth.\u00a0 Because God\u2019s \u201cno\u201d is divine<\/strong>, He turns it into a \u201cyes\u201d for us. And, he\u2019s the only Dad that can do that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 As a parent, I flopped at saying \u201cno.\u201d\u00a0 Having grown up with an unreasonable step-dad, I preferred the kind and friendly \u201cMaybe,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019ll see,\u201d which usually translated to<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1551],"tags":[512,255,3196,74,259,102,57,126,3197,530],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhen "no" means "I love you." - Inspire A Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When God says "no," we can trust His love\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When "no" means "I love you." - Inspire A Fire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When God says "no," we can trust His love\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Inspire A Fire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"http:\/\/bit.ly\/1P766rm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-10-13T10:00:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-09-20T14:09:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/tree-bark-1209874__340-just-say-no-300x176.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jeanette Levellie\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jeanette Levellie\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/\",\"name\":\"When \\\"no\\\" means \\\"I love you.\\\" - Inspire A Fire\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-10-13T10:00:23+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-09-20T14:09:48+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/dc129dca8159bfc3bf5dc6c0c2da72c0\"},\"description\":\"When God says \\\"no,\\\" we can trust His love\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/the-divine-no\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"When “no” means “I love you.”\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/\",\"name\":\"Inspire A Fire\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/dc129dca8159bfc3bf5dc6c0c2da72c0\",\"name\":\"Jeanette Levellie\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/inspireafire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7f1c53950baa0c104fc9c259c2722abb?s=96&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7f1c53950baa0c104fc9c259c2722abb?s=96&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Jeanette Levellie\"},\"description\":\"Irish redhead and former history teacher Jeanette Levellie is the author of four books and hundreds of articles, stories, and newspaper columns. 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