When My Sunshine Cries

When My Sunshine Cries

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” His vibrant green eyes locked into mine. A tender knowing rested in that moment—my child knew he was safe in my arms. Pure joy radiated from his face and spilled out as giggles when I leaned him back or side to side with the melody.

After what seemed like the hundredth time, he paused, touched my nose with his finger, and said, “No Mama. YOU are MY sunshine.”

He has always been my little Sunshine. Even when he fought to live as a five-month-old, hooked to tubes, in a hospital bed, he smiled and tried to laugh. The glass isn’t just half full; “it’s all the way full because air counts too.” There’s always a song on his lips and joy in his heart. Insults are flipped into praise. Even the oddest person is worth his time.

So, when my Sunshine stood in the shower longer than usual, hoping the water would mask his tears, my heart broke. I opened the door, wrapped him in his big, fluffy towel, and held him in my arms. His head rested on my chest while tears dripped on my shirt. Words from my lips weren’t the answer. His tears needed to speak.

 

A Mama’s Role

Holding my not-so-little boy in my lap, I searched for what to do. Everything in me wanted to fix things. Put a bandage over his innocent heart. Go over and above to make his world better so he’d never have to hurt again. I rode that thought briefly, but I knew in my heart what he needed.

God grows us in the hard times.

A passage from the Psalms came to mind. “But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore (Psalm 131:2-3 NIV). How many times had I been where my Sunshine now rested? As a child, I sought comfort in the arms of my mom, just as he did. Over the years, I learned that solace could also be found in the arms of my Savior. And now, as an adult, how often had I rested against my Abba’s chest? Desperate. Lonely. Broken. Sad. Hiding my tears as my son tried to do.

Mamas have a special role. And just as my child allowed me to be his comfort, we too must lean on the one who offers comfort to us. We give all we have to the ones we love, even to the point of neglecting ourselves. Our tears fall in secret. And our deeds go unnoticed. We serve until we have nothing left. Then we barely sleep and get up to do it all over again.

How can we continue to show others the love of our Father?

 

Abba’s Role

By resting in our Abba’s arms every day.

Abba means Papa. Daddy. It’s a term of familiarity. Fondness. And deep love. God has been my Abba more times than I can count. Days when the hits come from all sides and the darts turn into daggers aimed right at my heart. When I have no more answers and control seems impossible. That’s when weakness becomes my only strength, because Abba is there. He holds me while I lean my head against his chest. Like a child who is no longer searching to be fed, but has learned instead to be comforted by her embrace.

Mamas are a mirror of Abba’s love. We are placed on this earth to shape, mold, train, teach, and love our children well in hope of them becoming men and women of God who will also love their families. It’s not a small calling. We get one chance to show them Abba’s love.

 

Wiping My Tears

When words needed to be spoken to my Sunshine, I shared. I encouraged. He needed someone to remind him how to shine his light again and that it was okay to cry. Tears say things words will never convey.

That night, I cried too. Mamas are strong in the moment and save their tears for later. As I rested in the love of Abba, I poured my heart out to Him. I thanked Him for my sweet little boy and asked Him to help my Sunshine make friends at his new school. For God to somehow allow him to cross paths with old friends. And that He would help me stay out of the way.

We grow in the hard times. And my tender little man needed to learn how to overcome heartache. If I swooped in and rescued him, he’d never learn how to start over. Change his mindset. Or turn to God for direction.

 

My Sunshine is Back

We prayed for new friends on the way to school and for fun times in class. I challenged him to learn the names of the new people he met and to look for the grown-ups he knew from church and his old school. And that’s what he did.

Now my Sunshine is shining again. He memorized most of the names in his class and got to see one of his close friends at P.E. Some special adults went out of their way to make him feel loved. And when he got in the car, there was a huge smile on his face and excitement in his voice.

Joyful tears leaked as I silently thanked God for working in my Sunshine’s life. We cranked up the music and sang and danced all the way home.

Sometimes our Sunshine’s cry. And that’s when us mamas, are called to fight for their joy. We pray. Comfort. Encourage. And we shower them with the love that Abba so tenderly gives to us.

I’m thankful for this lesson. A reminder of how important my time with Jesus truly is. And that without Him, I’ll never know how to love my children well. I’m so grateful for a loving Abba who wipes away our tears and holds us when we cry. Who invites us to linger in His presence and never pushes us away. Who gives us good gifts and teaches us how to pass them on to our precious Sunshine’s each and every day.

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 (ESV)

(For more from Christy, check out “God, You Are Just Soooo Good” – Inspire A Fire)

© Copyright Christy Bass Adams, August 2025   All images from Canva