Turning an Unfair Disadvantage Around

Many people start life with an unfair disadvantage. This can lead to the development of unhealthy coping mechanisms and false internal narratives. A physical disability (I am less than others), emotional abandonment (I am not worthy of love), poverty (I will never have enough or be successful.) These internal narratives then color all of our thoughts, actions, and reactions.

In Celebrate Recovery we call these our character defects, the unhealthy way we cope with what life throws our way, the story we tell ourselves. Let me give you a biblical example.

Starting out with a disadvantage

Moses started life with a huge disadvantage. To save his life from a wicked King’s decree that all Hebrew baby boys be murdered, his mother, Miriam placed him in a woven basket and sailed him down the Nile River toward a better future. His desperate mother had to be a great woman of faith to follow God’s instructions when it seemed she was only exchanging one way of death for another for her son – from execution to being eaten by crocodiles or hippos.

In Exodus 2: 1-10 we read that this desperate action did preserve baby Moses’ life. The maidservant of the Queen of Egypt’s daughter found the baby and the daughter of the queen adopted him.

Happy ending, right?

educationWell, sort of. Kinda. He landed in the lap of luxury and received the best education the known world offered, but he was a foreigner living among the enemies of his people. His skin color set him apart from the other kids, and he stuttered. I think he stuttered because he was bullied and grew up knowing that only his adopted mother and her maidservants protected him from the King.

I can’t imagine the internal narrative he spun for himself to make sense of his convoluted life. Can you? Adopted by Egyptian royalty, he was raised by his birth mother until he was weaned (one to three years of age) and got to know a few of his siblings. Then he was passed back to his adoptive mother and was trained as an Egyptian. And once he was grown, the Hebrew men disrespected and hated him for holding a superior position over them—a Hebrew!

Turning Things Around

How did things get turned around for Moses? When the Pharoah heard that Moses killed an Egyptian in defense of a Hebrew slave, he put out a warrant for his arrest. Moses fled to a neighboring country and settled there, married, and had a family. When word of Pharoah’s death and a report that the lives of the Hebrew slaves had gotten worse, God called Moses (remember the burning bush?) to deliver his people. But remember—Moses stuttered. So, God gave Moses a spokesperson to help him, Aaron. And the rest is history. Biblical history. And for those of us in Christ, our history.

God Sends Us Help

And such as it was in the time of Moses, God sends us help today. Support people who will tear off the roof of a house to lower us down to the feet of Jesus, give us a drink of cold water when we are parched, and hold up our hands when we are weary so the battle can be won. If you are not familiar with Israel’s historical journeys, I encourage you to dig deeper and check out the highlighted words in this article.

Help When We Need It

I don’t know about you, but I am not comfortable asking people for help. Asking for help is humbling. We might be seen as weak, inferior, or incompetent. Moses humbled himself and allowed Aaron to assist him and the Hebrew people were delivered from slavery. Jesus asked for a cup of water from a Samaritan woman, and it opened up a kingdom conversation.

This makes me question what I might accomplish for God if I would only ask for help. Maybe others would come to Christ, be set free from a lie, or come to a deeper intimacy with Christ if I did.

Right now, I am looking for a permanent home. I long to get my things out of storage and set up my own space, a place I can welcome people into. A place where I can host a small group. After two years of moving from place to place, I am ready to settle down. In my morning time with God, I keep hearing—ask for help.

So, I’m asking God to show me who to ask, and that I will become more open to receiving help. How about you? Is there something God is asking you to do but you can’t do it alone?

God’s too Busy

Have you ever hesitated to bother God with your problems? After all, he is busy answering other people’s requests, right? And their problems are worse than yours. But all throughout the Psalms, we are reminded to run to God when we are in trouble, even if the trouble we experience is because we did something stupid.

I think this is why God calls King David, an adulterer, and murderer, “a man after His own heart.” David screwed up, but when he did, he ran to God for help. He humbled himself and repented of his wrongdoing, and God forgave him. Yes, he suffered some consequences of his sin as we all do. But God can redeem our mistakes, return to us the things that the enemy has stolen, and make things right. Even when we have believed the enemy’s lies.

Mercy Over Judgment

God gives us mercy over judgment. Moses murdered an Egyptian in rage over an injustice. The consequence of this sin was banishment from his home. He went from a position of royalty to becoming a shepherd, stuck out on the backside of a desert. But he learned from his mistake and was grateful for what God had given him—a family of his own. And forty years later, when it was time, God called him into His service. Then Moses, with Aaron’s help, used all his life lessons and skills for the deliverance of God’s people.

Psalm 46:1 tells us “God is our refuge and our strength, always ready to help (us) in times of trouble.”

Is it time to lay your mistakes at Jesus’s feet and accept help? He can turn a disadvantage around like no one else.

The True Story

We are not our past failures, and our future success does not hinge on whatever disadvantage we started out with or obstacle we encountered along the way. When we place our faith in what Christ did for us by going to the cross—He bore in his body all of our sins and mistakes, washing the stain of them away with his precious innocent blood—we are new creations. We are born anew, and from this incredible clean, and forgiven place is where we now live. Our story is different than our old internal narratives. God says we are worthy of His love. Have been all along. And in this awakened wonder of our new life, we learn a new dialog, we talk differently to ourselves. We speak God’s truth.

 

God’s Truth

a new creationI am a new creation. Old things have passed away, all things have become new.

God has buried my sins and mistakes in the deepest darkest sea and remembers them no more.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells me God has a wonderful plan for my life.

It comes with Benefits

As God’s sons and daughters we now have the benefits and privileges of royalty. The privilege of entering His heavenly courts in Praise and to inquire of the King.

Holy Spirit now lives in me. A helper that will guide me on a path that leads to living waters and restful places.

When I lack the wisdom I need, James 1:5,6 NKJT tells me I can ask, and God will give me the wisdom I need. And He will give me a bunch of it. He is not stingy; he does not hold back any good thing from us. Psalm 84:11

But the Struggle is Real

Yes, we are still here living life with all its struggles, but we no longer walk alone. His presence stays with us. Even when we fall back into a sin we repented of, He is there to pick us up, brush us off, and remind us of who we are now. All our mistakes—past, present, and future—are forgiven through Jesus Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection. Over and over again God meets our screwups with His unfailing unconditional love. I don’t know about you, but this kinda love blows my mind.

We did nothing to deserve such love and can’t do anything to keep it. It is freely given by an all-knowing, can’t hide anything from Him, deep loving God.

So how do we turn a disadvantage around?

We surrender it to God and trust the only one who can give us beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning. He will provide us with the wisdom we need, guide us, and see us through our desert places. Just as Miriam saw God rescue her son when he was an infant, and years later, Moses turned toward God while tending sheep, we can trust God to fulfill His promises.

 

 

 

 

Diana Flegal

Writers Coach/ Freelance Editor/ Collage Artist/ Jesus Follower

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