Waiting on a Baby
“Come on. We are going to try and bounce that baby out of there,” my husband said with confidence.
I waddled to the open-topped Jeep and awkwardly pulled myself in, “I just don’t think this little guy is ready to come out yet. But let’s give it a try.”
Being pregnant in July was miserable, and I was pregnant all over. Gestational diabetes made the last ten weeks even harder. A hot, hormonal, pregnant woman who couldn’t eat whatever she wanted was not any fun to be around. My husband was a trooper.
Every night those last couple of weeks, we bounced Baby Carter around in the Jeep. Twists and turns, roads I had never seen before, and every bump on the washboard dirt roads made the evenings long, but our little man wasn’t ready to budge. The waiting seemed to never end.
The closer we got to becoming parents, the more nervous I became. Late one evening, during my last nesting hoorah, I sat down at my computer to rest my achy feet. Soon, I found myself pouring my heart out on paper, writing a letter to the little, wiggly fellow inside my tummy who stubbornly chose to stay put. Anxiously and excitedly, I wrote:
“Dear Carter, everything’s about to change, kid. Nothing’s going to be the same. I don’t know what to do with a baby. What if I do a bad job? I still wonder what God was thinking. Does he really think we are ready to raise you? He must. I’m just so scared and don’t want to mess up.
“I love you already and I love the way you move inside of me–how you poke your little butt up in the air and make my stomach tight all over. Sometimes you get the hiccups, and it feels weird. I can see my belly move up and down. I wonder if you are going to move as much when you get out of there.
“What will you look like? Or how tall will you be? When will you walk and talk? Will you be handy like your dad? Oh, I just can’t wait to find out. Please hurry up.
“I do know you will be well-loved by us, your grandparents, and so many others. You are one prayed over little boy. But be patient with us, Little Man, we have a lot to learn. We are going to try and do our best, but we may mess up.
“Just know that we love you. We want what’s best for you. And you better not grow up too fast. I’m definitely not ready for that yet. Just let us love you in the only way we know how. I promise we will always try our best. Love, Mom.”
And that little lump who seemed like he would never arrive is now in fifth grade. It has gone by amazingly fast. I remember discussing where we would send him for kindergarten. Now he is ten, and we are deciding on a middle school for next year. It’s hard to believe that we were impatiently and anxiously awaiting his birth ten summers ago.
A Different Kind of Waiting
But isn’t that how waiting goes? The distance from start to finish seems to never end. The seasons are different, but the waiting is the same. Graduation. College. Job. Marriage. Birth. Moving. Careers. Illness. Scans. Tests. Surgery. Appointments. Divorce. Loss. Grandchildren. Retirement. Great-grandchildren. Nursing home. Death.
Every newly anticipated season has an element of waiting attached. Right now, my family is in a season of waiting on results from scans and tests. Countless doctor appointments fill our weeks while the answers remain few. I find myself anxious. Nervous. Distant. Sometimes wishing to speed things up, other times scared to know the truth. But as we wait, just as we waited for my son’s birth, we must still trust in the Almighty God.
Hope for the Journey
Circumstances change, what we are waiting for is different, but the God who is in control of it all has never changed. And in Him, whether for good or bad, I must patiently choose to wait and cling to these promises and practices written in scripture:
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalm 27:14 (ESV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6 (ESV)
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12 (ESV)
May our hope always rest in Christ–especially in the waiting. Hold us, dear Father, no matter what comes.
© Christy Bass Adams, August 2021
All images from Canva
