The Bravest Words I’ve Ever Uttered

Sick in a Foreign Land

“Samantha.” My voice wasn’t even a whisper. “Samantha. Help me.”

The door to the bathroom was cracked, but there was no way Samantha could hear my weak cries for help. I had been up for hours, stuck on the toilet, with a trashcan in my lap. Never in my life had I been that sick.

Samantha, our Chinese translator, and fellow believer in Christ, warned me. “Chreeesty, I am so hungry all the time. I never am full. I have a wairm.”

“You have a what?” I asked her.

“A wairm. In my stomach. You know, a wiggle wairm, like a snake.”

“Ohhhh, you have a worm. Like a tape worm in your stomach.”

“Yes. We have many wairms in China and parasites. Be careful not to drink the water or eat bad food.”

Somewhere along the line, I failed to heed her warning, because here I was, sicker than sick, and in less than four hours, I was expected to accompany my team on a six-hour hike to the top of a mountain. How was I ever going to hike if I could barely utter a plea for help?

The next morning, our team assembled outside the clay-brick hotel we slept in. I ate a package of peanut butter crackers and prayed as I’d never prayed before.

My feet felt like lead, but somehow they lifted again and again. One of the guys carried my pack for me, and I honestly don’t remember how I made it to the top. But six hours later, there we were sharing Jesus with a village who had never heard His name until it poured from our lips.

Sick at Home

“David,” I whispered. “Help me.”

This time I was in bed with the flu. My high fever and frequent bathroom trips, along with the fact that I was still nursing our eight-month-old son, made staying hydrated a huge struggle.

I don’t know if it was fever or dehydration, but late one night my heart began to race, followed by a wave of intense nausea. I called for help, and my husband carefully led me to the bathroom, holding onto my arm to help with stability. As I reached for the doorknob, my body let go, and I collapsed on the floor.

The next moment I remember was an EMT shaking me, telling me to try to stand. I. Could. Not. Stand. When they loaded me on the stretcher, my heart rate was 225 and wouldn’t slow down.

I was in and out of consciousness as they loaded me onto the ambulance.  Several measures were taken until one of the guys said, “We are going to have to restart your heart.”

Terrified doesn’t begin to tell you how I felt. I thought of my four-year-old and how much he needed his mama. And my eight-month-old who had never taken a bottle, only breastmilk. What if my heart never started back?

Thankfully, I had wonderful medical attendants, and I was home the next afternoon. Still incredibly ill, but grateful to be alive.

Sick in Sin

“I need help,” I finally admitted.

I will never forget the day that a friend cared enough about me to confront my sin. Confrontation is possibly the bravest act of love one human can offer another—especially a fellow believer. I had been silently struggling with addiction for over a decade, making justifications and excuses for too long.

Broken doesn’t begin to describe what I experienced. When sin has taken the driver’s seat, removing it from that controlling position can drain a person dry. Fighting old habits, learning new ways to handle life, no longer running away but standing to fight—it was exhausting. Sleepless nights of battling my thoughts. Wearisome days of guarding my mind and actions. Learning to lean on others and invite accountability. I was so sick with sin. There were times I wondered if I would ever get fully well, or if I was destined to struggle forever.

Slowly, through counseling, friendship, and full dependence on the Lord, life became hopeful again. His word was the balm that my soul was missing, and His grace the blanket that nursed me back to health.

Overcoming Sickness

There comes a time, whether physically or spiritually sick, when we must utter the bravest words we might ever say: I NEED HELP. Even if only in the faintest whisper, recognizing that we will never get well alone is a huge part of maturity.

Without Samantha and my team helping me climb the mountain or my husband holding me as I walked to the bathroom, I would never have made it. If my husband hadn’t called 911, I would have died on that bathroom floor. And without my friend confronting me in my sin, I would have died in my sin.

We were never made to do life alone. We all get sick sometimes and have moments when we must have help. Are you willing? Are you asking? Are you seeking the one who can heal it all?

Only through the help of others and my Savior can I ever get truly well.

 

©  Christy Bass Adams, April 2022, All images from Canva