Surviving Transition

Whether you are caring for aging parents, making a career change, or sensing a shift in your spiritual redirection, you can expect to experience internal and external transitions.

When a person is in transition, passage happens from one state, stage or place to another.

Transition includes the uncomfortable phase where old identities, routines, or roles have dissolved, but the new ones have not yet solidified.

For instance, when you move to a new city, start new employment, lose a job, experience financial hardship, go through a medical/health crisis, you are forced to reevaluate priorities and redefine values.

Poor choices made in mid-life, for some, can be easy to spot, but the need to reassess one’s purpose, and asking the “who am I now” question, is mainly an internal metamorphosis.

Perhaps today, as you read this article, you find yourself at a fork in the road.

A life cycle change demands that you pivot.

 

Crossroads…

 

Until very recently, I was oblivious to the fact that “change” and “transition” were different.

After doing research, I have come to realize that change happens to you and transition happens in you.

Change can be sudden or planned; it is situational, visible, and measurable.

The “what” [of the conversion] is where change happens. It is an external shift.

Transition, on the other hand, is the internal and emotional process; it is much more gradual in its unfolding.

Simply put, transition is “how” we adjust on the inside to the outward change.

 

“Beware of harking back to what you once were when God wants you to be something you have never been.”           Oswald Chambers

 

Transition is not static

 

Some of you may have children in transition.

Imagine the following.

Category #1: Leaving childhood and starting primary school.

#2: Exiting elementary school and entering middle school.

#3: Leaving home for college, military service or just moving out.

#4: Getting married and merging identities, becoming a parent.

#5: Grieving the death of a loved one, going through divorce.

 

Be encouraged. God’s grace is sufficient for every transition!

 

 

The Transitional Door

 

 

 

Do you recall your “threshold moment” – the time of realignment in your circumstances when everything changed?

In my opinion, the words “transition” and “threshold “are almost synonymous.

The Latin root for threshold is the word limen.

Similarly, Miphtan, the Hebrew word for threshold, denotes the lower part of a doorway over which one steps when moving from one space to another.

In the ancient world, this transitional place was more than structural; it marked the boundary between domains, signifying ownership and authority.

 

 

Guarding the Threshold of Transition

 

Did you know that biblical guardians of the faith, the priests and Levites, served as “keepers of the threshold?”

In its structure, the “threshold” is the floor at the base of the entrance, while the “gate” is the entire entryway barrier.

Both are vitally important with regards to transition.

It’s my experience that the fiercest spiritual battles happen at the threshold of the gate – which represents authority, decisions, legacies.

According to my research, “thresholds of the Temple were, in some cases, lined with gold and were places where God’s glory rested.”

To talk about it differently, the threshold, or entry point can symbolize a change in seasons.

It’s a delineating line. A place where decisions are made.

 

…” Give strength to those that turn back the battle at the gate.”   Isaiah 28:6b (ESV)

 

 

My Personal Transition…

 

I have been through several transitions – including leaving my childhood home, going off to college and graduating with a BA in English.

At age twenty-one, I was married.

For twenty-four years I enjoyed staying at home as a mom of three kids.

Not expecting to be divorced, my next decade demanded I be a solo parent.

During this time, by the grace of God, I simultaneously completed a master’s degree in psychology.

For several years, I worked with children as a Behavior Specialist Consultant.

About eleven years ago, I started my last transitional period; I got married for a second time.

Loving warm weather and nautical activities, we now split our time between Florida and Maryland.

 

 

Retirement Looms

 

As I write this article, I am one month away from retiring as a Licensed Professional Counselor.

With this huge transition, my emotions are swirling.

And, if I am honest, most of my feelings are unwelcome.

From my point of view, the destination and outcome of my retirement is murky and unknown.

It is fraught with distress.

So many worries swirl in my head.

I wonder, “Will my retirement be an up or a downturn?

Will I be successful in controlling this directional shift with my emotional response?

 

The next assignment

 

While I know God has something amazing for me, the turbulence during this time of transition is almost unbearable.

It seems as though the previous stream of life-giving water has now become stagnant: the old is no longer in motion, and the new is not yet fully formed.

I find myself in “no man’s land – unable to stay in the “what used to be,” yet unable to cross over to the new.”

Transition literally makes me want to pull my hair out!

 

Transitions take time….

 

Transitions can be personal, spiritual and/or national.

In its finest detail, transition is best described as:  change, shift, conversion, movement, passage, progression, changeover, evolution, transformation, flux, and upheaval.

Transition is the psychological journey one feels in the process of letting go of the old.

As I muddle my way through the awkward, “in-between” time of transition, what I feel most is monotonous boredom.

To me, transition feels like God is lifting His grace: the task at hand, once relatively easy is now overwhelming and exhausting.

Suffering mental and spiritual exhaustion, I find I am incessantly crying out to the Lord to “get me out of here!”

 

Transitions Require a Leap of Faith – Inspire A Fire

 

Transition must be navigated

As I said previously, when your world is on its axis, you must likewise adjust.

Yet, the closer I get to bowing out gracefully as a therapist of 23 years, the more I wonder, “Will the loss of structure and cessation of my 9am to 5pm work routine cause me an “identity disruption?”

I muse inwardly; Will this disarranging of my normal routine stretch me to rediscover my purpose?

One thing is certain; you cannot plant until the time of plucking up is ended.

As per the theme in Ecclesiastes, a person cannot build until the time of breaking down has finished its work.

 

 

The God Factor in Transition

 

It’s been said that God uses the circumstance of change to initiate movement, but transition is the process that prepares us for the next assignment.

In other words, transition is the transformation… the spiritual evolution that follows is the change.

Like most transitions, the internal work God does in us during our evolution can be disorienting; we feel vulnerable as He is reshaping our inner core.

It may require testing and pruning, as it did for the Israelites when they were called to leave Egypt, but the “wilderness journey” was part of the transition.

The promise of entering the promised land (with new identity and purpose) was what God was after.

To read more about this story of Moses, read Transition and Change – Inspire A Fire

 

The “in-between”…

 

I think it’s encouraging to know that transition has an end, a middle, and a new beginning.

Emotionally, transition feels like suspension, ambiguity, or holy discomfort.

In my opinion, the liminal phase is the most horrific part of transition.

You know by now, this middle part of the transitional process is my least favorite!

The in-between phase of transition feels especially disorienting and uncertain to me.

It’s a “stretching space….”

 

Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.”                      Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

Do you get the picture?

 

I did an AI search on transition and change, and the pictorial description really helped my comprehension.

Imagine this…

“Change is leaving one bank of a river. Transition is crossing the river – the uncertain, liminal space is the in-between part. The new beginning is reaching the far bank.

Someone famous said, “change can happen in a day, but transition can take months or years.”

To put it frankly, people don’t resist change – they resist the loss that comes with it.

Yet, the word “transition,” in its simplest definition, promises we will, in fact, move from one reality to another.

 

 

What’s your pattern?

 

How about you?

In transition, do you avoid change?

Are impulsive and not well thought out in your response?

Do you adjust gradually, or seek out change while in the throes of transition?

Per FORBES, there are four patterns that people fall into during transition.

 

It’s personal.

As we go through transitions, it also affects people in our personal lives.

It’s as if there are specific sectors.

For instance, early-life transitions can be invisible, but when the new reality has been integrated, the end will be in sight.

 

“Transition is when you’ve turned the corner and the past is no longer visible, but you’re not far enough on the path to see what’s up ahead”  (Anonymous)

 

 

Tips for handling transition

 

In 1991 the Bridges Transition Model was established. It is still helpful today for those going through transformation.

The three-phase model highlights that successful transitions require understanding – and that the person experiencing the modification needs to address the psychological aspects of change,

To mirror this concept, a personal transition plan might resemble this:

Step #1

 

Name the transition you are navigating now.

Next, write down the ending, the beginning and the uncertain (in-between).

Identity your core values and goals. Ask, “What matters most to me right now? What do I want this     transition to lead me to? What kind of person do I want to be on the other side?”

Assess resources to reduce stress and manage the transition.  Note: this will require skill, knowledge, financial stability and emotional support.

Anticipate challenges. It helps to refer to previous transitions. This will help you be prepared for fears and emotions that are likely to bubble up.

Consider a prayer of surrender or transitional ritual (i.e. write a letter to yourself) to help make the end of one season firm, signaling the beginning of another.

 

 

Enjoy the journey

 

“God will seemingly take forever to do something suddenly.” Bill Yount

 

Metaphorically, to retire means to withdrawal, retreat, or go into seclusion.

While having solitude sounds great to me, I have no intention of stepping away from public life.

Despite my soulish woes about retirement, I am encouraged God will grant me a new vision.

“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of an end and will not prove false. Though it lingers, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3 (NIV)

My heart is after God. I know He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

Alas, with the fruit of longsuffering, I will, at the appointed time embrace the outcome of the new.

I’m sending prayers for your wonderful transition as well.