Regrets, I’ve Had a Few

Regrets, I’ve Had a Few

By Debbie Hardy

 

Regrets, I’ve had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption[i]

I wish I could honestly sing that song, but I’ve had more regrets than French fries in my life, so I won’t mention them.

Well, I’ll mention a few, or this is going to be a very short post!

 

1. I regret pouring water on my sister’s bed as a teen. But she did something I was angry about and I didn’t want her in the room we shared, so I made her bed “unsleepable.” She has never forgiven me for that and I wish I hadn’t tried so hard to push her away.
2. I regret listening to my dad when he said that reading a book was a waste of time. Just because he didn’t enjoy reading didn’t mean that I had to give it up. But I spent most of my adult life avoiding books. Of course, I might have read a self-help volume now and then, something guaranteed to improve my life, but no reading just for fun.
3. I regret finding a new love when my fiancé broke up with me to be deployed and “sow his oats” overseas. He returned wanting to restore our relationship, but I had found someone else. He and his “replacement wife” have now been married for years, while I’ve lived through several relationships, two marriages, one divorce and the death of a husband.

 

 

Regret comes from second guessing our choices, wishing we could change the outcome, and hopefully learning from that. It’s a way of living in the past and letting it affect our future.

 

Too often, we move on from a bad decision without realizing that we could’ve done better. We just shake it off or blame someone else, only to make the same mistake again and again. That’s like paying for a class, goofing off during the lectures, not doing the homework, and claiming that we learned all the lessons it had to offer. What a waste of time, money, and opportunity!

 

As for my regrets, I don’t think the water-on-the-bed thing was the final straw, but my sister and I steadily pulled apart over the years and the miles. We were good friends, then morphed into so-so acquaintances, until now we haven’t seen each other or communicated for several years. I wish we could be friends again.

 

For some reason, I collected books for years but didn’t read them. I wanted them on my shelves, but felt guilty taking the time to actually open them. I’m now a writer and learned that to be good at my new profession, I need to read at least one hour every day. So lately I’ve been devouring everything I can get my hands on and loving every book. Well, most of them.

 

Had I married that fiancé, I would not have learned all that life had to teach me. I would have had fewer things to bounce back from, and I wouldn’t be The Queen of Resilience that I am today. Since I might have been a stay-at-home mom instead of working 50 hours a week, I may have started writing earlier, but my stockpile of ideas would have been greatly reduced. And many of my readers would have been unimpressed with my lack of real-life experience.

 

How about you? Could you sing that you’ve had too few regrets to mention? Or are you like me, second-guessing each decision and hopefully learning from every mistake?

 

Maybe we could not waste those golden opportunities and, instead, learn to do better the second time. Or let’s just learn to let go of the past and give up regretting anything.

 

Either way, we win!

 

 

Images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Turntable” by graur razvan ionut

“Pillow And Blanket On The Bed” by Feelart

“Open Book With Glasses On The Desk Against Library” by pannawat

“Diamond Ring” by MR LIGHTMAN

 

 

[i] “My Way” lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC