Mumbo Jumbo: an English phrase used to describe words, ideas, or rituals in overly obscure or unclear language.
Platitudes: A platitude is an overused, trite, or obvious remark that is often delivered as if it were profound or insightful. While they are frequently used to offer comfort (Merriam-Webster), they tend to be dismissive in nature.
Have you ever been guilty of throwing out a Christian platitude or being in such a hurry that you tell someone who is broken and hurting, “I will pray for you,” then just walk away? I’m sorry to say, I have. I’ve also been on the receiving end of that. And once I experienced it, I became determined to change the way I interacted with hurting and struggling people.
Sometimes we ARE crazy busy and can’t do much more, but all too often we are like a mom handing out Band-Aids in the summer. “Nothing is broken, just brush yourself off!” “It will be better by the time you get married.” “God said he will not give us more than we can bear, so buckle up buttercup.” “Let go and let God.” “God helps those who help themselves.” “Count it all joy, that’s what you need to do.”
Half of what we say in God’s name are quotes belonging to Ben Franklin, or some advice we heard on a podcast, and not even scripture. But I’d like to narrow this conversation down to the times we flippantly dismiss another person’s suffering or hard situation by tossing out a scripture or platitude. When we misuse God’s word or take it out of context, we can do more harm than help to others.
Bad Things Happen to Good People
God’s word says, “…for He maketh the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sendeth the rain on the just and the unjust.” You have seen the bumper sticker – ____ happens!
Why do we feel the freedom to judge another person or the need to offer our opinion to friends and loved ones going through a difficult situation?
Proverbs 12:18 states: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
When our son had his first manic episode and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Christians said some cruel things to his father and me that did not help our heartbreaking situation. I will not lend them credence by repeating them here. Suffice it to say what we needed was someone to sit with us in our pain and not play Holy Spirit or God.
Get Understanding
Proverbs 4:7 “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding.
As a young believer enthusiastic about the freedom I had found in Christ, I passionately offered to everyone words of wisdom and correction from Scripture. I felt I knew how they should be living. I was zealous without true knowledge and understanding.
Suffice it to say, when we come across someone suffering, there is a lot we do not know.
Let’s look at three Greek words used in the New Testament to express knowledge.
Gnosis—General Knowledge about Someone or Someplace (base noun used 29 times in the NT)
Ginosko—Experiential and Personal Knowledge (verb form used 220 times in the NT)
Epignosis—Precise, Complete, and Full knowledge (found 20 times in the NT, Paul uses it 15 times). Many scholars use the word “intimate” when speaking of this type of knowledge.
Ephesians 1:17: “…may God give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better (Epignosis).”
“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and on earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might in the inner man, that Christ might dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the depth and height—to know (Ginosko) the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:14-19).
Based in Love
This is Paul’s prayer for the church; that we would Ginosko or personally experience the depth and height of God’s love for us in the midst of unexplainable circumstances. He is telling us that if we know certain things about God and His character, we will not lose heart when our loved ones endure hard things.
Beloved, there are so many things we do not know. We do not know what others have lived through or what causes them to act or respond the way they do, but if you see someone who is always angry and unkind, you can be certain they have suffered a deep wound. Hurt people hurt other people.
But what about…
But what about when we see a brother or sister in Christ overtaken with sin?
“He of you that is without sin, let him cast the first stone.” This was Jesus’ response to the men who brought to him the woman caught in adultery.
Obviously, Jesus knew something they didn’t know or want to acknowledge. The point here I’d like to emphasize is, in Jesus’ presence, who of us is without sin?
No one. Zip. Nada. So, knowing this, let’s be generous in mercy (undeserved kindness) the same as we have received.
It is all about the approach
Our approach needs a little work.
In Romans 10:2, Paul speaks about his fellow countrymen: “for I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal lacks knowledge (Epignosis) in the image of their creator.” In other words, they were not speaking for God. In fact, they were misrepresenting him.
The word of God tells us to “judge righteously.” I’ve come to learn someone cannot judge “righteously” without first getting the facts of the situation and spending a lot of time in the presence of God and in prayer. Of late, I’m leaving the judging up to Christ.
It is worth repeating: Proverbs 4:7 “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding.
By all means, we must study the scriptures, for in them are the words of life. Knowing what the word of God says builds a strong foundation under our feet. When we know the word, Holy Spirit is able to bring it to mind when we face a situation or life storm. As we hold on to what we have learned about God, we are exercising faith. Faith — the walking out of the Christian life — develops into Ginosko or experiential knowledge. And the longer we follow Christ, the more we gain epignosko—true understanding. This goes way beyond book or general (Gnosis) knowledge.
And read books. Lots of books for the pure pleasure of reading.
Before I became a parent, I read many books on parenting and freely offered my opinions on child rearing to every parent I knew. I had a general knowledge about the topic, but it wasn’t until I became a parent that my knowledge was tested. Once it was, I quit offering any advice on the topic and humbly sought other women’s advice.
Live and Learn
True wisdom is gained through living life. Every time I encounter an obstacle, am disappointed, have my heart broken, or face a terrible diagnosis, this is the place I learn to walk by faith and not by sight. The place where I practice the presence of God. Sit with Him and lean on Him and learn.
As we exercise faith and experience God’s faithfulness, we find that His word is true. Our personal history with God develops into a strong, intimate knowing of Him (Epignosis). And it seems to me it is out of this intimate place our words find worth.
At this season of life, no one can tell me there is no God, or that God is unfair or not worthy of my trust. I have experienced his loving kindness, mercy, and grace time and again. He is the lifter of my head, my strong tower, my champion. I Epignosis Him and can testify of His goodness.
How can we “count it all joy when we fall into all manner of difficulties?” (James 1:2-3) Because we have learned a few things. We know we can stand on the promises in God’s word and that He will never leave us or forsake us. God is for us, not against us, and He has promised us a good future. Not a pain-free or untroubled future, but a good one.
And how about this one? God is not counting our sins against us! He has paid for them by His own blood and has removed our sin as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more. Isn’t that a truth worth sharing with someone struggling to grow in their faith?
LOVE First, and then, Love More
When we know and believe these things, we have hope and can look at our own, or anyone else’s present difficulty as a temporary situation, not a place to set up camp.
Family, we can do better. The next time I am tempted to throw out a platitude, I am going to pause. When I am tempted to tell someone what they should do, I will be more thoughtful and considerate. Perhaps I’ll sit with them a bit. Or drop off a meal, offer to pick up their kids, or simply ask them what they need. I’ll be like my friend, Eddie. I won’t judge; I’ll be Jesus. Because I am sure there are some things I do not know.
And for those without Christ? Let’s not lose hope. Let’s offer God’s great love to them. And “Be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks” how they can Ginosko our God.
Count it all joy!
Yes!! I always think about how Job’s friends were only useful when they sat and mourned wit him.
Yes!
Excellent!
Thank you, Teresa.
Diane – Thanks for the reminder to love and listen.
The platitudes sure help when you are in a rush with no time for others.
Too often I have used them when I didn’t take time to stop –
And even if you know Him — know – epignosis – you can still run away at times.
but –
Just sitting and listening – that is love. Yes – thank you for the reminder.