Fostering a Love of Family that Stands the Test of Time

On an Autumn weekend long ago, I lay in bed next to my childhood best friend, tears rolling down my cheeks. I’d been invited to spend the night and had readily agreed. At 8 years old, it wasn’t my first sleepover. Being with my best friend and her family was always enjoyable. They were church friends of ours and we spent lots of time together. But tonight, as I lay there in my friend’s pink canopy bed, the tears wouldn’t stop. When I think back to that time, it reminds me of how much my little girl self loved her family and how my parents made family time a priority. Fostering a love of family is an important aspect of parenting.

Love of Family and FOMO

What had spurred my childhood angst on that Autumn night long ago? Well, earlier that day, my dad had announced we’d be doing a family project together the next morning—raking and bagging leaves in our yard. Believe it or not, I was crying because I was going to miss the family project! Was FOMO (fear of missing out) a thing back then? I don’t know, but I sure had it. As tears turned to sobs, my friend’s mom tried to console me, eventually giving up and driving me home.

I never did tell her what was wrong, but boy was I happy as I fell asleep in my own bed anticipating the fun we’d have raking leaves and cleaning up our yard. It wasn’t that I especially loved yardwork. It was the dedicated family time that I relished.

Fostering Family Unity   

Family unity is a goal for which we all strive. We want our kids to like us and each other. We hope that even after they leave the nest, they’ll want to come home to celebrate a holiday or participate in a family vacation. It’s a blessing when this parental dream comes true.

How do we foster a love of home and family in our kids when they’re young?

Tips for Fostering a Love of Family 

• Show your kids unconditional love. I love you even when you make bad choices or misbehave. We never want kids to think our love for them is conditional upon their behavior.
• Infuse positivity and praise (for making good choices, for good work, for a good attitude, for obedience, for just being their sweet self) into your parenting. A child who is always yelled at, hurried, and criticized will not want to come home again. He/she will want to get out of there as soon as they possibly can.
• Plan regular family projects to do together—projects at home or in service to others.
• Ensure that your home is a safe, clean, and organized place where your children can thrive and grow. The size of your home makes no difference, a small home can be clean and organized. The goal is for children to feel at peace and comfortable in their space.
• Include your children in some of the planning and decision-making for your family. Even young children can participate in family meetings. Children who feel respected and appreciated are more confident and secure.
• Have fun together—outdoor play, family game night, watching movies, beach days, camping trips, romping in the snow—all strengthen those important family bonds.
• Take time to engage in conversation with them, one-on-one. Listen to their thoughts, fears, and opinions. Don’t be afraid to talk about serious or difficult issues with your child when it’s appropriate. Intentional, focused conversations help your child feel like they matter.
• Make Christ the center of your home. Take your kids to church, pray with them, read and post scripture. Be an example of faithful Christian service. To the best of your ability, model the character of Jesus in your home by being kind, patient, and unselfish. Remember, children imitate what we do, more than what we say. 

Our Family Time Today

Today, our children are married and busy with their own lives, but we’re blessed that our children still like each other and like us. A few times each year we get the whole gang together and it’s such fun. Though the dynamics change as they grow and mature. It’s amazing to watch the metamorphosis of their adult sibling relationships.

For those of you who have a broken or strained relationship with your grown children, it is never too late to seek restoration and healing. It will require forgiveness, prayer, and in some cases, professional intervention, but with God, all things are possible.

Our grown children would tell you they love our family time and have fond memories of their childhood—not perfect memories, of course, but good ones. They always knew they were loved. Two of our kids live out of state and one is local. We now have 6 grandkids and another on the way. As time goes on, we’ll continue to welcome our adult children home with open arms and giant smiles (especially if they have our adorable grandkids with them)!

Nowadays, I’m not a fan of yard work, so the yard is looking a little shabby. But It’s never too early to start training the next generation. Hmm, maybe I’ll make that a family project when the grandkids come for a visit. 

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.”

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