Living a Quiet Life

 Are you living a quiet life?  That’s a serious question. Paul told the Thessalonian church to strive to live a quiet life. The whole verse says, “make it your ambition to live a quiet life, mind your own business and work with your hands, as we have commanded you.” When I read those words, I don’t know what to do with them.

Is it even possible to live a quiet life in the twenty-first century?

My life is anything but, and to be honest, sometimes I like it like that.  I don’t have any desire to run away to join a convent. Or an Amish community. I can’t even remember to water my houseplants, so I would starve if I had to live off the land.

But like most Americans, I live in a noisy world. The cell phone I casually slip into my pocket every morning connects me to more information than I can possibly process. Everywhere I go, I am bombarded with noise. I bought gas not too long ago, and there was a television screen on the gas pump showing the latest headlines and ads for gasoline credit cards.

A forced kind of quiet.

At a recent eye appointment, I had to wait until my eyes dilated, so I was sitting in a quiet room alone with no way to pass the time. They didn’t have background music. I had my phone, but I couldn’t see well enough to read. And adding insult to injury, I had left my Air Pods in the car, so I couldn’t listen to my current audio book without disturbing others.

I was left to wait with no input for about 45 minutes. I will spare you a tirade about how inconvenient it was to arrive on time for a 2:00 PM appointment and not get out until 4:30.

What to do?

At first, I fidgeted. I tried to read on my phone, but it was too painful. I thought about listening to music or an audio book on the lowest setting, but that seemed rude. Then I got sleepy. I don’t think I fell asleep, though it’s possible.

I always have dozens of thoughts running through my mind, but I had to time to my thoughts, to consider what I needed to do for the rest of the week. And to sit back and be quiet. That is a novel experience for me. And I bet it is for you too.

An unexpected result.

When the doctor arrived, I felt peaceful in spite of having missed a meeting. Or maybe I was peaceful because I missed the meeting.  (I managed to text someone and let them know why I wasn’t there.) Instead of having my impatience escalate to the point of telling someone off, I was able to listen to what the doctor had to say, to ask relevant questions that I hadn’t considered before the appointment, and to fully participate in the appointment.

Crippling Anxiety is not Living a Quiet Life

Anxiety is crippling our nation. Do you think I’m just being dramatic?  One out of five American adults, and one of four American adolescents suffer from some sort of anxiety related disorder.

To be clear, digital connectivity is not the only cause of anxiety and depression. But it is a major cause today. The National Institutes of Health sanctioned a study in 2023 that showed a clear correlation between anxiety and access to digital media.

There is plenty of evidence that learning to turn down the noise that surrounds us can improve our mental and physical health. Spending more time in real, face to face connection can help us be healthier, inside and out.

 

Dogs (and cats too) can benefit from a quiet life.

If you read or talk to me, you know I have two dogs who share my home and my life. Daisy is a hound, about 14. And Bernie is a long-haired dachshund in the prime of life.

Several years ago, I had Daisy’s behavior evaluated by a professional because of some concerns I had. The trainer took her on a short walk and came back with her assessment. Daisy is an avoider.

She doesn’t want confrontation, but she’s more than capable of holding her own if she feels there is a need. In human terms, Daisy is an introvert.

I needed to learn to help her self-regulate by allowing her to back off when she wanted to and not pressing her to meet people or dogs she was uncertain of. Her demeanor changed. When I quieted her environment, she became happier and more content. Who knew that living a quiet life was good for hounds?

What about Bernie?

With Bernie it’s harder to see. He loves people, but thinks cats and squirrels are menaces to the world. And I hadn’t noticed that he needed much quiet.

He started showing signs that he was out of sorts. He had “accidents” in the house. In Bernie’s case, I call them “on purposes.”  He ran away a couple of times and was generally more of a brat than usual.

Then came the day I picked him up from the training academy he attends two days a month, and the head trainer mentioned that he had been “extra spicy” lately. If you’ve met Bernie, you know that’s saying a lot. He’s the most wide open dog I’ve ever encountered. So if he’s over the top, you pay attention.

Upside Down Dachshund World

Then I considered what his world had been like over the past 6 months. He was here in the house with me when Hurricane Helene devastated our area.

Then I took him to the beach for Christmas. This was a good change, but his world got noisier. He got to experience new smells, sounds, and sights. But you can get too much of a good thing.  Then we experienced the death of a close neighbor. And his favorite trainer at the Academy took a new job.  His world got a lot noisier, and he needed me to pay attention.

I started spending more time with him, focusing on what he liked. And it turned out that he really wanted to cuddle more than ever. I turned off the TV and spent more time reading with him in my lap. And it made a difference. He’s still spicy. But he’s a lot better.

 

Put down that phone!

Animals aside, how can we live a quiet life in our current generation? Is it possible? It is. But it takes work.

Here are some suggestions for living a quiet life. I’m still learning. But these kinds of changes have helped.

Some things to try

1. Set the right tone for your day. Make living a quiet life your goal from the top. When your alarm goes off, try thanking God for another day before you grab your phone. And spend some time with God before you head to social media or the weather report. Believe it or not, the rain is going to come whether you get the notification or not. And for that matter, turn off some of those notifications. You don’t need to know every time someone takes a photo of their lunch.
2. Take inventory. Figure out how much noise you have in your life. Be honest about the amount of screen time you allow yourself. And decrease it. Set reasonable limits and stick to them. Learn to use the Focus features on your technology. Ask others to help you set limits. Let’s face it. The constant noise in our world is addictive. Cutting down isn’t easy.
3. Put down your phone and turn off the television during family meal times. Learn to talk to each other. Since I live alone, it’s easy to develop a habit of eating while watching TV. I am curbing that habit by reading or listening to instrumental music now. This makes me more aware of what I’m eating, and when.
4. The next time you’re caught in traffic or in a waiting room, allow yourself to be bored. Tune in to what’s going on around you. Take some deep breaths and consider it a new adventure.
5. Go outside. Take a walk. If you have a dog, take them along and let them sniff to their heart’s content. And leave the ear buds at home. You might meet some interesting people.
6. Learn a hobby. When I read the part of the verse where Paul says work with your hands, I laugh. I’m not good at most crafts. I’m dangerous around sharp objects. No, I’m not kidding. But I love a nice fountain pen, and I can write a note on a nice card. I think that counts.

Jesus didn’t call us to blend in. He says we are to be a peculiar people In the modern world, it’s peculiar to turn off the noise. But if we do, we can hear Jesus better. And we can hear each other too.