Learning to Love the Process

I’m slowly but surely learning to love the process of the seasons.

Summer. Fall. Winter. Spring.

Or, if you’re in the good old Sunshine state… Summer. Summer-ish. Su-wait no it’s cold. Summer.

Needless to say, while everyone’s guzzling down pumpkin spice lattes and slipping into their Uggs, I’m over here trying not to die of heatstroke walking to my car. But I am forever grateful for these sweltering Summer-ish days, because it means I’m still here.

Lately I’ve been forced to reflect on life and mortality and what happens when the process is over. You see, my granddad, my bud, my bestie since birth, was just diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. It’s metastasized to his liver and lungs, and now it’s about keeping him comfortable for the weeks he has left.

One minute he’s going through the process and the next it’s just stopped.

He can still move around and eat and live a ‘sort of’ life. He still laughs and smiles like death isn’t knocking on his door. But I guess that’s because he learned to love the process years ago. And now, at 79, the end of it all, death, doesn’t scare him one bit.

He’s been packed up and ready to go for longer than I’ve been alive.

While I’m complaining about not being able to breathe in the humidity, he’s struggling to breathe with the tumors growing on his lungs.

While I’m griping about the sun in my eyes, he’s forced to see it only through the tiny living room window.

And while I’m distressed about living in a world without him, he’s desperately trying to remind me to learn to love the process. My process. My life. The process that doesn’t stop when he’s gone unless I let it.

I’ve decided that I won’t.

I’ve decided that the humidity isn’t so bad, because sweet tea exists in every restaurant within a 100 mile radius.

The sunshine is a constant reminder of how beautiful this life is and the rain is like the pause button for my busy life, telling me to refresh my mind, body and soul.

The traffic is a sign of people. Happy people, excited people, living people. Millions of processes going on around me and millions of chances to share with them how beautiful the process is when we learn to love it.

So, what is the process?

It’s life. So transient and temporary, but a gift freely given by the One and Only God above.

It’s the ups and downs. The yes’s and the no’s. The sunshine and rain. The summer and summer-ish.

It’s the…

Summer. Fall. Winter. Spring.

Right now, we’re nearing Fall. Some of us who live in normal climates are in it right now.

As for me, I’m ready to snuggle down in my air-conditioned house and love the process of it all.

What about you?

Jenni Beaver

Jenni is a twenty-something storyteller from the Sunshine State. When she's not writing a novel or screenplay, she's editing a video or film for the business she co-owns with her mom. She loves animals and has SIX pets! Everyday she tries to stay positive, inspired, and caffeinated.

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