Invisible Guests

I sat by myself waiting for the church service to begin. A woman made her way toward me with her family following.

Nodding toward the space next to me, she asked, “Are you saving that seat for your husband?” 

The sarcastic part of me wanted to quip, “Yes, but it may be awhile!” But since I’m not married, I simply smiled and said, “No.”

Without another word, she and her family sat down.

It was my first Sunday in a new city, and I was visiting a church that had been recommended to me. At one point in the service all visitors were asked to stand. At nearly 6 feet tall and wearing a bright turquoise outfit, I was hard to miss. After the closing prayer, church members gathered to visit while I stood by myself. No one approached me, spoke with me, or acknowledged my existence. I left and went to eat lunch by myself.

What’s wrong with this picture? Everything.

Unfortunately, I’ve had many other opportunities to feel unwelcome, or at the very least, invisible, when visiting churches. Consequently, I am intentional about looking for visitors at my church.

Here’s what I’m learning:

  • Pray for the visitors you hope to meet.
  • Get to church early and don’t be in a hurry to leave.
  • Be on the lookout.
  • Some guests may be easy to spot. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you to the ones who are not.
  • If you don’t know guests from members, say, “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you.”
  • If guests are already seated, offer to sit with them. If not, invite them to sit with you.
  • Consider inviting them to a meal after the service. Leave it open ended: “If you don’t have plans for lunch, we’ll be at Sonny’s BBQ at 12:30.”
  • If appropriate, get their contact information.
  • Say, “I’ll look for you next week.”
  • Think. Once when I was visiting a church I asked a greeter for directions to the restroom. She obliged with no further comment. Tipoff! If someone doesn’t know the way to the restroom, you’ve got a guest on your hands.
  • Be inclusive. Know when to visit with your friends and when to look for new ones who might be disguised as visitors.

When I moved to a new city, I received a warmer welcome at the local Toastmaster’s Club than I did at most of the churches I visited. Why? I believe it boils down to this: they expect guests to come, and when they do, they know how to make them feel valued.

There could be a lot at stake when guests walk through the doors of a church. What if the person in my opening story had been someone who woke up Sunday morning after a sin-filled Saturday night and thought, “I’ve got to get my life together. Maybe I’ll visit that church on the corner. I’m told God’s people gather there….”

So reach out and welcome one another to God’s glory. Jesus did it; now you do it! (Romans 15:7 The Message)

Kim Jackson

Kim Jackson serves as an advocate for homeless elderly in Romania via www.elderorphancare.com , writes a weekly Brag On God Blog at www.wowdeewow.com , and travels the globe spreading encouragement and inspiration to a variety of audiences--at last count, in 30 states and 6 countries. Her favorite Scripture verse is Ephesians 3:20: "Now to God who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us, to him be the glory...."

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