The last nine months have felt like a roller coaster—high and low, joy and fear, excitement and nausea. I’ve seen God’s hand in every twist and turn. But just because I can see his hand doesn’t mean I understand.
The Supernatural Hand
Like King Belshazzar the night of his great feast. He was living his days the way he thought he should, enjoying his grand party, when his life turned upside down. The mysterious hand with a hidden message appeared in the middle of his normal existence. Daniel 5 states that the king was seized with such great fear he lost all color in his face, his knees knocked together, and he soiled himself.
He wasn’t ready for the appearance of the supernatural hand. Until that day, everything in his life seemed right. Gripped with fear, he tried to make sense of the writing on the wall. Diviners, magicians, sorcerers, and mystics attempted translations to no avail. Life froze while the king waited for an answer.
His wife remembered Daniel, the interpreter of dreams under Nebuchadnezzar’s rule. Immediately they summoned him, and Daniel boldly shared a message from God. After pointing out the demise of King Nebuchadnezzar, he confronted King Belshazzar. “But you his successor have not humbled your heart, even though you knew all this. Instead, you have exalted yourself against the Lord of the heavens…you have not glorified the God who holds your life-breath in his hand and who controls the whole course of your life,” (Daniel 5:22-23, CSB).
God’s Hand in My Life
I thought I was living like I should, enjoying this season of not building our house and having time to rest and participate in hobbies. Pickleball three days a week, writing, speaking, leading, and teaching all fit into my days. Teaching once a week in a recovery house and leading four sessions of workshops at another recovery center once a month seemed like divine appointments. But then my world froze.
For nine months I’ve exercised very little and stopped teaching the weekly recovery house bible study. My monthly workshops have been reduced from four to two, and speaking has a completely new direction. The in-person volunteering has become coordinating behind the scenes and delegating. The increased pain in my body propelled me to seek help from Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville. Moderation. Stillness. Rest periods. And sitting. These words describe my new normal. It’s like God’s hand appeared, wrote on the wall of my life, and showed me a brand-new direction for everything.
Nothing is the same. New doors flung open without me even knowing I should knock on them. Other ones shut when I thought they’d remain open forever. My commitments became few while my responsibilities became many, just flexible. Moderation occurred while I had days confined to the recliner. Headaches, nerve pain, throbbing, and aching have become my new normal while working between the margins of well and fatigued.
I couldn’t keep the old pace anymore. Or take on all those in-person responsibilities. And there was no way I couldn’t keep playing hours of pickleball. God’s hand showed up and humbled me. Honestly, I had no idea I was still consumed with such intense pride. But his message in my life was clear. Slow down. Rest. And seek the God-directions instead of the good directions.
Accepting God’s Hand
As if Daniel’s other words weren’t bold enough, he continued speaking to the king and shared the meaning of the mysterious script. “This is the interpretation of the message: ‘Mene’ means that God has numbered the days of your kingdom and brought it to an end. ‘Tekel’ means that you have been weighed on the balance and found deficient. ‘Peres’ means that your kingdom has been divided and given to the Medes and Persians,” (Daniel 5:25-28, CSB).
According to scripture, King Belshazzar died the next day and Darius the Mede received the kingdom. Thankfully God’s hand in my life didn’t lead to the extremes of King Belshazzar, but his hand did open my eyes. I was blinded to the areas of my life that were off base. Good things clouded my view of God things. And pride still reigned in much of my heart.
With a recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, focus had to change. It’s not a life sentence, but the label definitely makes me seek balance. I’m forced to acknowledge my limits or pay the price for days after the fact. Asking for help is now a daily requirement because sometimes my body refuses to cooperate. I’ve cried. Mourned. Pouted. And whined. But one truth I acknowledge: My yeses are now dependent upon God’s strength, not my own.
The pain has thrown me for a loop. The fear of not getting my body under control looms close. But God’s hand keeps opening doors that are favorable to this slower season. He’s not done. Life is starting anew. Fresh. And exciting.
He’s Not Done
To think I would have missed all the ministry of this new season. Teaching and writing a bible study for the first time. Getting the chance to edit it and teach it again on a larger scale. Coordinating and reaching out to volunteers in the school system. Encouraging teachers and staff in our district.
God knew. Even though my sight was limited. And so was my strength.
Even when his hand appears and rocks our world, we must trust him. He knows what’s best and sometimes, he uses the hard to regain our attention. It was too late for King Belshazzar. It’s not too late for us. Let’s trust his hand when he shows up in our life. Especially when it’s hard.
(For more on submitting to God’s will, Surrender to God’s Plan – Inspire A Fire)
Copyright September 2024, Christy Bass Adams. All images from Canva
Praying for you and your ministry, Christy.
Wonderful perspective. It’s so hard to see His hand, but it’s still there.
Sorry for the diagnosis Christy. Praying the pain is minimal to zero most days.
Who are you writing the Bible study for? God does like to close and open doors to keep us focused on His will and not our own selfish pride.