Heroes Among Us

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28–NIV).

“I had a plan…”

The young woman’s voice broke and she cleared her throat. “I’d… I’d planned on having an abortion. Even scheduled the appointment.”

She swiped a tear.

“I had a ride to Atlanta and everything, but then…” Once more, a beat of silence. “There was an unexpected bill, and I didn’t have the money for the… for the procedure.”

I sucked in my breath…

Then considered her words, the impact this plan would have had had she…. A tear fell as I lifted my hand to take hers. “I’m sure sharing this is hard, but you understand now, don’t you?”

She nodded. After all…

She did

And in that moment, my heart grew immeasurably in my love for this precious girl–a person I hardly knew, one who’d found herself in a difficult situation, facing an unplanned pregnancy and with very little support.

In a word, this young woman was…

Scared.

*******

This conversation occurred more than two and half decades ago, but still, her words ring in my heart and mind.

Had she moved ahead with her plan to terminate her pregnancy, a young man whose presence in this world has made–is making and will continue to make–a beautiful difference wouldn’t be here.

Indeed…

One of our sons wouldn’t be here.

Today, I’m the mother of three children who came to us through the miracle of adoption because three women in crisis chose to carry, then place with us rather than terminate the lives inside.

And I have even greater love and respect for…

Birth moms.

This is indeed one of the most impactful topics my new release novel, Gideon’s Book, introduces.

The story’s message sheds light on the subject of abortion in a manner that encourages healthy conversation concerning the sanctity of human life and the controversy surrounding one’s freedom to choose.

The message isn’t one that passes judgment, nor does it finger-wag. It simply asks readers to consider all sides, especially if he or she believes the words discovered in Psalm 139—

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you (vv. 13-18).

Birth Mother’s Day is celebrated the day before Mother’s Day–May 10th this year, in fact.

How fitting that Gideon’s Book–the story I’ve been writing for many long, laborious years–will finally be born in time for this special day which honors the most courageous, selfless people among us…

Yes, birth moms.

They’re women of varying ages and different ethnicities—each of their stories and circumstances unique only to her.

I am privileged to know three intimately, and–over decades–I’ve come to know many more.

Perhaps you’re one!

If so, thank you! Because, to me, birth moms are…

Heroes.

They live and work among us. Many likely attend our churches.

Each has a story–a tapestry with one common thread. Undoubtedly, each birth mom faced a moment when she had to make a decision regarding a life within her–

To carry or to terminate.

And eventually, each also made the decision…

To carry…

Then to place her son or daughter with a waiting family–saying yes to adoption.

That’s what defines a birth mom. And again, this is what, in my opinion, defines one of the most courageous kinds of…

Heroes.

What did John Wayne say of courage?

Courage is being scared to death… and saddling up anyway.

Oh, the irony!

I doubt there’s a single birth mom out there who would say, “I was never afraid.” In fact, she’d tell you quite the opposite, confessing, “I was terrified, but I knew in my heart what I needed to do…”

At least, this is my experience–with three heroes whose choice (And yes, they each had one!) made a world of difference–

• For me.
• For my husband.
• For many others, including the children these adopted children have gone on to have, lives that wouldn’t be if not for the choice of…

These heroes.

And these birth moms’ decision to carry to term, then deliver babies into our waiting arms, didn’t come without cost. They paid the price with heartache, loneliness, and worry–often wondering, How will my baby be without…

Me?

It’s a valid question, and that’s one of the most beautiful aspects of open adoption in its varying forms.

Though not always possible, when it is, an ongoing relationship with a birth mother enables her to see first-hand how her biological child is fairing, how he or she is growing and making an impact in the world.

“All it takes is pullin’ up a chair.”

That’s what Gideon’s Book‘s beloved character Jonah Forney says about having difficult, potentially life-changing conversations. He goes on to say–

“If’n I can’t practice what I preach, then I’m no better than the rest, ain’t that right?”

So, how ’bout it?

Let’s pull up a chair and talk, but even before that, let’s say thank you to those heroes among us, wishing them a very happy…

Birth Mother’s Day!

Father, thank You for the example You set by sending Your Son to be adopted by Joseph. Thank you, too, for examples like Moses’s own mother, Jochebed. She must have been terrified when she laid her baby in the basket, then let him float off in the Nile–especially knowing Pharaoh’s edict. But You sent a princess to rescue him by drawing the baby out of the water, then blessed Jochebed by allowing her to nurse her biological son until he was  weaned. What a wonderful, faithful God You are! We give You praise, and we ask You to give us courage that we, too, might–in some small way–be heroes in this world, even if it’s only in the life of one other. The difference we make just might mean the world to him or her, used to bring about Your perfect plans and purposes. And may it be so!

**(Each photograph is of one of our children with his or her birth mom, those heroes in our lives–used with permission.)**