Grace for When You Feel Grief, Overwhelm and Stress

I wrote this post before Hurricane Helene ravaged our beautiful mountain region of Western North Carolina. When our power returned and I could finally post this, what I wrote felt inconsequential in the face of such a catastrophe. As I write this, much of our region is still without running water, power, internet, or cell service. Many have lost their homes, livelihoods and lives. Though I hesitated to continue with the topic of grace for general overwhelm and stress amid such devastation, I continue to feel God’s leading to share this message of hope in His grace, even, and perhaps especially, in the midst of the long road to recovery.

Post-Helene: We now add grief to our overwhelm and stress.

And now we add grief to our need for grace. Grief over the losses on so many levels. This storm has been labeled a generational catastrophic event of biblical proportion. Our grief, overwhelm, and stress are not only compounded, they are exponential.

Our mental health has already taken a hit from the recent pandemic, and much of our area was still in recovery from another storm that resulted in flooding a few years ago. The recovery and rebuilding from this catastrophic storm will take a long time. Roads are gone, homes and businesses were demolished, and the death toll continues to rise. I am still in shock and unable to fully process what this means for the people of our region for the days, months, and years to come.

Like so many, I was forced by this event to get back to basics with what I could do in the midst of no power and an almost impossible ability to find cell service to even send a simple text. The people of Western NC have been forced to let some of those plates stop spinning so we could focus on what is most important. My hope for you in reading this, and honestly for me as I write this, is that we will discern where we need to step back from all the spinning plates of our roles, responsibilities, and tasks before it becomes a crisis.

These words from 2 Corinthians 12:9 speak to me today in a way they have never before, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

My prayers are with everyone affected.

Spinning plates.

Do you ever feel like a plate spinner? If you’ve ever seen this act, the performer rushes from plate to plate, doing all they can to keep the balance so the plates don’t fall and break. It’s a flurry of activity with a focus and concentration solely on doing this task.

But what if a distraction takes the performer’s attention away from the spinning plates?

Everything crashes.

We are all spinning various plates. Family. Career. Finances. Health. Whatever your plates are, it’s an unrealistic expectation to equally spin all the plates.

For the sake of our mental health, we shouldn’t even try.

Oh, but try I did! When I was a young mom, I was determined to be a supermom. I was not only going to be an exemplary wife, but when kids came into the picture, I tried to balance motherhood and being a wife with spinning the plates of housekeeper (yep, that’s a laugh), nutritious cook, chauffeur to all the extracurriculars, homeschooler, church volunteer, Scout leader (both boys and girls), household finance manager, and probably some other things I’ve forgotten or my brain has flipped the safety switch and blocked out of my memory.

It was an impossible balancing act.

And yes, for a time there was much crashing and breaking because I forgot to put myself into the equation.

Where was my plate of self-care and grace?

Budgeting (not balancing) your energy can help you find space and grace for the overwhelm and stress.

I personally love the idea of zero-based budgeting. Basically, you set a budget for the month which assigns each dollar to a category of spending. While this covers paying the bills, and hopefully some giving and saving, we also need to budget for some fun and self-care along the way.

Why budget this way? Because if we wait for the leftovers at the end of the month, there won’t be any!

So what does budgeting have to do with all the overwhelm and stress?

When we intentionally set aside money in our budget for self-care and fun, we must also set aside the time for such things (and they don’t have to cost anything)! On the balance sheet of energy, grace, self care and quiet time can fuel our energy expenditures.

Walking away from the spinning plates doesn’t mean they have to crash and fall. Perhaps we need to set a few plates aside to give them attention at another time. In so doing, we can focus on our own plate in the here and now.

Now you have space to breathe and to do something to care for yourself. You have the space to give yourself grace for the overwhelm and stress while also stepping into God’s ever-sufficient grace.

The math of stress.

Like interest, stress compounds. It doesn’t matter if it’s good stress or bad stress, it still adds up.

The more stressed we are, the more likely we are to become ill. The American Institute of Stress has several tools we can use to better understand our stress level. These tools can give us a better understanding of the need to step back and give ourselves more grace for our overwhelm and stress. The results can be a gift of understanding and awareness of why you feel the overwhelm.  In so doing, we can give ourselves permission to step back, breathe, and embrace God’s ever-sufficient grace.

After all, if God’s grace is sufficient, shouldn’t we allow ourselves the time to step into that space?

It’s time to set aside some plates to reduce your overwhelm and stress.

What’s one way you will intentionally budget your time and energy to enter into God’s ever-sufficient grace? What plate(s) can you set aside for a time to decrease your overwhelm and stress, so you can focus on your own plate of grace and self-care in the here and now?

Comment below. Who knows, what you share may be just what someone else needs to hear so they can step into grace.

If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call 911 immediately.

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). You can also reach them by dialing 988, or texting “talk” to 741741.

In North Carolina, you can also talk to a trained professional 24/7 by calling Vaya Health’s confidential Behavioral Health Crisis Line at 1-800-849-6127. This toll-free, 24/7 number is available for people in crisis or seeking information about mental health, substance use or intellectual/developmental disability services.

If you are located outside of the United States, immediately call your local emergency line.