The heartfelt meaning behind “Thank you” can fall anywhere along a continuum line from empty words to effusive joy and gratitude. Or so my experiences show that to be the case. Judging where my heart is in a thank-you is one of those little things that I analyze and worry about—probably too much and not enough at the same time. I put the lowest point on the thankfulness scale at claiming to be thankful but not. Being all bubbly equally misses the mark. Sincerity is the goal.
Let me illustrate.
Saying thank you to the server who set a glass of water in front of you is different from how you appreciate being handed a bottle of water after you finish a long run. In the latter case, you might not even get the words out before you start guzzling to drown your parched throat. However, if the diner had just choked or desperately needed to take some medicine, their sincerity could have been just as deep as the runner’s.
The simple thank-you
The simple thank-you is the beginning point I see on the continuum. Looking more closely, we discover a spread of more divisions at that one point. There is the polite response drilled into us when we were children going something like this: “And what do you say, Charles?” “Thank you.” Such I-say/you-say responses can be like a Pavlovian experiment resulting in trained responses void of meaning.
A visit to my doctor in my youth taught me how those responses can backfire. One of my elementary school teachers had taught on social etiquette. “When someone asks you how you are feeling, think of them just making small-talk conversation. In most cases, they don’t care and don’t want to listen to your list of aches and pains.”
It made sense to me because I had already done my share of listening to long-winded stories or complaints. The teacher did qualify her exhortation that sometimes people are genuinely concerned or have a good reason for asking. I developed a habit of answering with fine or okay. It had become so engrained that when my doctor walked in, sat, and rolled his examination stool up to me, asking “How are you today?” that I flatly said fine. He backed away from me and asked, “Then why are you here?”
I gave an embarrassed chuckle and told him I had sore tonsils and was finding it difficult to swallow. That was one of those times I needed to have answered honestly because the doctor had a vested interest. He truly needed to know how I was physically.
Back to the restaurant server.
A thank you is better than saying nothing, but it can be as empty. Letting your server know you are sincere with your thanks can be as simple as making eye contact when you thank them. That communicates that you recognize them and their action. You acknowledge them by giving them the slightest gesture of knowing their presence. If you want to more fully affirm them, say thank you with your countenance: your eyes, your smile, your tone. Consider giving a generous tip even if their service wasn’t the best. They may have had a terrible day and need encouragement.
Thanks beyond the restaurant
Days are soon approaching when we will have many opportunities to encourage others and to show them our appreciation for their being who they are in our lives. If you haven’t guessed, I am talking about Christmas. I’ve seen the full gamut of responses to gifts, I think. There are those who are so elated over a gift that is then quickly set aside for the next thing that sparkles. Some hardly notice what the gift was and play with the box it came in. A toddler son of mine received nothing but empty boxes from one person. He delighted more in them than all the fancy gifts he received that year. Then there were those who couldn’t afford to buy a gift so they hand-made their gifts. Some realized the real value of them. Others simply thought them cheap. They expected and felt entitled to more.
For the deep stuff
Now, I’ve belabored this topic to get down to this one point. We often take a similar attitude with Jesus. We act in habit, when it’s convenient, when we know others are watching, when we are moved by events or His touch. Sometimes our sincerity pegs the meter. Sometimes we could possibly hang our head in shame if we saw the sincerity meter.
We confess that if Jesus would do absolutely nothing else for us, He is still worthy of our praise for what He has already done. No one else has done or could do what He has done to reconcile us to the Father. However, when we come in need, we hold to His promises, reminding Him all about them. Yes, we still want more from Him.
These thoughts launched me into a quick check to see what the Bible says about giving thanks. Moses instructed Israel in the law to offer up a sacrifice of thanksgiving. David in his psalms exhorted Israel to give thanks to God for His mighty deeds and to forget none of His benefits. Add to those God’s righteous judgments, victories, and His wonderful works for the children of men.
We can do better by Him
Yes, it’s right and good to thank Him for those things, but I want to challenge all of us. Jesus is not our restaurant server. He deserves more than the muttered thank you—even if you make eye contact. Our thanks to Him should be with all the attention, emotion, conviction, and sincerity He deserves.
Take this thought down to the simplest expression. Do we recognize a meal placed before us is from His love and blessing? Or do we pray over it before eating out of habit? Are we truly thankful to Him or is it a drilled-in response? Also, I find myself doing what others do: filling quiet times in prayer with “Yes. Thank you, Jesus. Mmmm. Thank you, Lord.” I ask what are those thanks for? They strike me as Christianized uhs and ums—wasted air, empty words.
The wind in our sails
Then in my search I found the number of times the call to give thanks to the Lord had a reason given: For He is good! 1 Chronicles 16:34 Ezra 3:11, Psalm 106:1, Psalm 107:1, Psalm 118:1, Psalm 118:29, Psalm 136:1 all say, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.”
Sometimes I hear that in my head spoken slowly while drawing out the word good. Say it in your mind like Andy Griffith might say it. For. He. Is. Goo-oo-ood! I hear his smile. I hear enthusiasm, conviction, and sincerity in my mind.
Final thought
I’m reminded of two attitude-bending and faith-building exercises I learned years ago. One was for helping a person out of an emotional slump. Start writing a list of things you are thankful for. Add to the list daily until you reach one hundred items minimum. Recite the list daily in the early morning and see how your attitude toward whatever you might be facing for that day changes.
The other exercise is to take a verse like Give thanks to the Lord for He is good and read it several times, emphasizing a different word each time. Then take note of the shift of meanings. For example:
- FOR He is good. This connotes that you have purpose. The thanks are not empty words.
- For HE is good. There is none other. It’s His nature and character. Jesus and good are inseparable.
- For He IS good. This speaks of definition and of a constant state. The I AM—always in the present.
- For He is GOOD. A person could not have a greater desire. He is everything that was, is or will be good.
My prayers since seeing this perspective of giving thanks have had more of this filling the meaning. I don’t want to offer empty thanks. No Thanks-but-not-thankful attitude for me.
