Live Free of Fear

Does Fear Have a Grip on You?

It’s time to quit living in fear, listening to the lies of our enemy.

Fear can drive us to make bad decisions, or keep us out of the game. We keep a family secret out of fear of life forever changing. We go along with the crowd because we fear being left out. Or fear failure so we never seek that promotion. Or, because we fear criticism, we never create the art we love. Some give in to unwanted sexual advances rather than be alone.

Fear can make us do unwise things, hook up with the wrong people, dig ourselves into a bigger hole than we are already in, or avoid the very thing that would help us start over.

But I have come to realize that – for those of us in Christ – a lot of our fears are based on strawman arguments. Strawman arguments are lies poised to attack us but without any strong backing. Lies from an enemy that never has our best interests at heart.

The Chains That Bind

If you are like me, you cringe when you see historical images of slaves – men, women, and children – in heavy chains. We can only imagine the humiliation and struggle for self-worth those treated so inhumanly felt. How helpless and discouraged their souls as they pled for God to exact justice. Slavery left a dark mark on all of mankind.

I feel the same aversion to human trafficking, as well as prostitution – both forms of modern slavery. You might disagree with my listing prostitution here, but they are enslaved as well. Whether it is a drug habit or the need to feed their children, it is not “normal” human behavior to sell yourself for a price.

Coping Skills and Emotional Enslavement

It’s easy to point out the obvious. Abhorrent acts like human slavery. Yet most humans remain emotionally enslaved despite their best efforts to prove otherwise. Trauma, abuse, and poor decisions on our part throw us in a pit and rather than asking for help or digging ourselves out we put up curtains and hang framed art on our walls and tell ourselves it isn’t that bad.

We throw up after eating or starve ourselves to be fashionably thin, become a workaholic to show a parent we are not a good-for-nothing ‘bleep,’ or sleep around to prove to a spouse who betrayed us that we are desirable in the eyes of other men. Then we drink in excess or use drugs to numb our guilt and shame. Some curse God and throw themselves into a deviant lifestyle because their bodies are their bodies, and no one can tell them what to do.

Yes, the accusations of God’s enemy are lies. Yet they often rule and run our lives. Trapped by words spoken over us or things done to us when we were young – we act out of our wounds.

Let’s Fight the Good Fight

Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

There is nothing like the freedom from fear and shame that Christ brings. Christ wipes our sin record completely clean when we accept his sacrifice and payment for our sins. Crystal clear. This includes our past sins and the sins we will commit until we leave this earth. And for our hurts and hangups brought on by traumatic events, He offers us the soothing balm of His unfailing love and forgiveness.

Sometimes our freedom comes easy, and other times we need help to navigate the triggers and landmines to cross over into our promised land.

A Road to Freedom

If you know anyone in active recovery, you might hear them talk about the 4^th step in the 12-step program. The fourth step requires a person to take a fearless and honest moral inventory of their lives. This includes listing all significant life events – good and bad – while asking and allowing God to show us how these events affected us and still impact us and our loved ones. Sometimes this inventory reveals a part we played in our misery or highlights where we were the victim in other situations.

Most recovery groups require participants to have a sponsor and a few accountability partners before beginning step four. I get it now. It is hard work, and support is vital to one’s success. Two years ago I joined my first 12-step study. When I reached the list part of the fourth step, I threw myself face down across my bed and had a talk with God. Out loud I informed Him that I thought I could call it quits and skip the rest of the steps. After all, I was a woman of a certain age and He and I had a good relationship. He was my Father, and I was his daughter and hey, things weren’t really that bad. I could coast the rest of my days and just enjoy the life I had. Right?

I remember His kind and gentle answer. “Yes, of course. You can settle for what you have and coast the rest of the way until I call you home. That is okay with me, but…”

Oh, the But’s of God

I rolled over onto my back, threw a hand over my face, and moaned. “But what?”

“There is greater freedom waiting…”

I walked outside and onto the beach and stared out at the ocean. I had an assurance that the God I call Papa, along with Jesus and Holy Spirit would accompany me on my healing journey.

“Fear not for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, I am your God, I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (TLB)

And since I want all the freedom available because – well, it’s freedom – I chose to do the work and stayed with the program.

Sin’s Short and Long-term Consequences

When I introduce myself in a Celebrate Recovery small group meeting I say,  “My name is, Diana and I am a beloved daughter of God. I struggle with selfishness, codependency, and self-sabotaging behaviors but now have victory over alcohol, anorexia, and other harmful practices.

Over the years my flavor of sin has changed as I have grown in my Christian walk. New temptations present themselves. When I was young but a very confident believer, my choice of partners set me up for failure and disappointment. I began to believe the enemy’s lies – I was unlovable, unworthy of a faithful partner, unfit as a mom. These lies kept me enslaved and beat me down mentally until I questioned whether I deserved to live. That is the power of sin and lies torment.

In the Catholic faith, sin is categorized as both Mortal and Venial. Mortal sin severs our relationship with God and causes us to lose grace and miss heaven. In contrast, Venial sins are minor violations of the moral law that injure our relationship with God and weaken the soul with sickness. Catholicism for Dummies states, “Venial sins are like minor infections in the body, if casually ignored and left untended, may deteriorate into a more serious condition.” Most protestants would agree with this, only we might word it differently.

The Bottom Line as I See it

The bottom line for a believer is – sin separates us from intimate fellowship with God and all the benefits of the fruit of the spirit. When we believe the lies of our enemy and choose an unhealthy way of coping, we forfeit the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control He offers us.

Simon Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples encourages us in I Peter 2:16, 17 to: “Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.”

Throughout New Testament scripture, God continually reminds us that he has cleansed all believers of their sins and desires to free us from all fear.

Psalm 103:12 (TLB), puts it this way: “He has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west.”

Confession is Good for the Soul

“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.” James 5:16

We need a safe place to confess our sins, character defects, and weaknesses. A safe place to admit the abuse, mistreatment, and betrayal we have suffered. In a supportive environment like Celebrate Recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, or a professional counselor’s office, we see and find the freedom that comes to our souls when we bring our hurts, hangups, or habits into the light.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).

This is why many religious practices offer some form of confession and why therapists ask us probing questions so we can come clean – all so we can find freedom and peace of mind.

Working the 12 steps in a safe place and within a community has helped me connect events in my past to my present difficulties.

It’s the “why” behind why I react to something someone says, laugh when I am nervous, or cry when ‘that’ happens in a movie. Like solving a personal mystery, doing the steps helps us discover why we do things a certain way or default to a certain response.

The First Step Leads to the Fourth

But the remedy to our problem begins with the first step – admitting we are powerless to fix our hurts, hangups, or habits ourselves and need God’s help.

Our enemy is a liar. He speaks outright lies, or slants the truth, but we don’t have to live according to what he says. Maybe like me, you find parts of your life unmanageable. If your efforts to silence the voice of the liar include numbing your pain with retail shopping, going to the gym seven days a week, comfort eating, or abusing drugs or alcohol, maybe it’s time to say enough.

If so, consider joining a 12-step program. Or pick up one of the great books that are available or will be released this spring: The Fix by Ian Morgan Cron (Jan 28^th) or STEPS, by John Ortberg, which released in February. As we like to say, we don’t care if you come from jail or Yale, recovery is not just for the person addicted to drugs or alcohol. I it is for anyone who has hurts, hangups, or habits they want delivered from.

I have become a 12-step Evangelist because, when Christ sets you free, you are free indeed! And freedom is a glorious thing!