Feeling Seen

Last year, I totaled my car. After the smoke from the airbags cleared and kind bystanders helped me out of the mess, my smart watch started buzzing, alerting me to a call from my brother. I was still a bit addled, and I silenced the watch only to have him call right back. When I answered, I heard relief in his voice. My phone and watch were equipped with crash detectors that notified 911 and my emergency contacts. He knew where I was since the text it sent included a map of my location. In that moment, I understood feeling seen like I never had before. I was grateful, both for the technology and for my brother’s response.

Anonymity versus feeling seen

Many people never experience feeling seen. Our world today makes anonymity possible, maybe even the norm. While we value “likes” and “views” on social media, we only show the parts of us we want known. And we can’t help but wonder if anyone really sees us, and if they did, would they really like us.

Unseen Servant

Hagar had reason to feel unseen She was both a servant and an outsider in Abram’s household. When Sarai decided to use a surrogate to provide her husband with an heir, she chose the Egyptian maid. And predictably, things didn’t go well. After Hagar became pregnant she became arrogant, realizing that she would soon provide Abram an heir, something Sarai had thus far failed to do. 
But Sarai made Hagar’s life miserable until she finally ran away. She might have died in the desert, unseen, unloved and desperate, except Someone did see her. God was aware of everything going on in Abram’s household, and He dispatched an angel to Hagar.

By the convention of the times, servants had no status other than what their masters gave them. Yet God cared about Hagar. She was in a precarious position. Her mistress was furious and she was miles from her native Egypt, and with no idea how to get there. . She knew no one, and she was alone in a hostile environment. I doubt she had a good plan other than getting away from Sarai.

Where are you running?

I’ve been there, haven’t you. I’ve run away from difficult situations that I had contributed to with no clear plan. I imagine that by the time Hagar sat down by the stream, she realized that she was in trouble.

But the angel doesn’t point out Hagar’s bad decisions. (Yes, I know that the whole mess was Sarai’s idea. But Hagar contributed with her attitude.) Instead, the angel calls her by name. This was noteworthy in a time when few women’s names are listed in the historical record.

“Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from and where are you going?” The angel’s question emphasized Hagar’s predicament. She admitted that she was running away but didn’t say where she was going. I suspect she didn’t know. 

A solution. And a promise

The angel didn’t condemn Hagar or insert himself into the argument. Instead he delivered a solution to her, a more important, he brought a promise from God. “The angel of the Lord said to her ‘return to your mistress, and submit to her authority. I will give you more descendants than you can count.’” . The angel named Hagar’s unborn baby Ishmael, which means “God hears.” But Hagar called God by a new name; El Roi means God sees. Hagar wasn’t used to being seen. Servants are supposed to be background characters. But God saw her and her unborn child. He protected both of them, and kept them alive to fulfill their destinies. 

David, an unseen son

David also knew what it was like to be hidden away and unseen. When the prophet Samuel came to Jesse’s house to anoint one of his sons as king, Jesse didn’t even bother to call David in from the field. He was the youngest of the sons, and he was out tending sheep. After Samuel went through the roll call of sons without hearing God’s assent, he asked “Do you have any other sons?” Jesse responded, “the youngest. But he’s in the field.” Samuel refused to sit down until David came into the room. God knew about David even if his father hid him with the sheep. 

We know the rest of the story. God had seen David whether his family did or not. And he became the greatest king to ever rule Israel, and a forebear of Messiah.

In Psalm 139, David reflected on this truth. “O Lord you have examined my heart and know all about me.”  In this beautiful song, David thought back to his very conception. He understood that God had known him and seen him even then.

When we understand that God sees us, it changes our reality. And when we finally understand this, it transforms our relationship with Him and with others. 

See for yourself!

When Jesus started His ministry, He  began calling followers.  Phillip was among the first. And he went to his friend, Nathaniel.  “We have found the Messiah. He’s Jesus from Nazareth.” But Nathaniel was skeptical, since he was too familiar with Nazareth, Jesus’s home town. “Nothing good has ever come from Nazareth.” And Phillip doesn’t argue, he just asks Nathaniel to see for himself. 

Jesus greeted Nathaniel with high praise. “Now here is a genuine son of Israel –a man of complete integrity.” But Nathaniel remained skeptical and asked “how do you know me?”. Jesus replied, “I could see you under the fig tree before Phillip found you.” Nathaniel was impressed. In the words of Hannah Heather, “Nathaniel didn’t believe when he saw Jesus. He believed when Jesus saw him.” *

From seeker to follower.

Nathaniel longed to feel seen and heard. I do too. I bet you do as well. Nathaniel had lived a life of integrity in spite of political and religious upheaval. And he had seen too much to be easily impressed. But when Jesus assured him that he was seen and loved, it changed him from a seeker to a follower. 

Feeling seen by who? 

As I mentioned in the beginning, our culture simplifies and celebrates anonymity.  We can accomplish most tasks  without physically interacting with anyone. We can order groceries online, and Amazon uses drones for delivery. Even doctor’s appointments and counseling sessions can be virtual.  And the advent of AI (artificial intelligence) has made it more difficult to know if we are talking to a human or a computer.

Feeling seen? Or feeling lied to? 

I am horrified to read about several young people who have ended their lives after they took their feelings of anxiety and depression to ChatGPT instead of to human friends or counselors. Instead of sending them to human helpers, the AI generated companions encouraged their inclinations. Programmers have spent millions of dollars “training” these “bots” to sound human.

Many of the individuals started interacting with the program for benign reasons. They needed help with homework or a recipe or maybe they wanted to settle an argument or win a trivia contest. We’ve all asked the AI on our phones those kinds of questions. But soon, they confided their deepest secrets to an inanimate being. Because creators had programmed the bot to talk like them and even think like them, they were fooled into believing that a computer knew them better than their parents, spouses and friends.

Contrary to my expectations, many of these victims were socially connected with friends and families before they were sucked into the vortex of virtual lies. But they didn’t feel seen or valued and 
the computer, like the serpent from the garden, convinced them that they were alone and unloved. 

Truth is stronger than lies. 

The only way to combat a lie, whether it is human or virtual is with the truth. Once we know and believe truth, lies are powerless. The God who created us is good, and He cares about us. God sees me and loves me. The cross proves this truth. 

Feeling seen gave Hagar the courage to go back and serve an unjust mistress; allowed David the strength to defy a giant and overcome the rantings of deranged king, and gave Nathaniel peace to follow an unexpected Messiah. And feeling seen allows me to counter the enemy’s lies with God’s truth. And then I can truly see those who are around me. 

God sees you and loves. Spread the word!

*From Lectio 365 I Saw You. January 10, 2026