Choosing Self-Control with Help

Self-Control in traffic

Self-control can be tricky. It’s defined as: “the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions.” What a powerful virtue. All the virtues of the Holy Spirit, like love, joy, and peace play important roles in our lives, but we can’t overlook self-control even though its the last in the list of the Fruit of the Spirit. Like the song says, “What the world needs now is love sweet love,” but how different would our world be if we all had Holy Spirit manifested self-control?

Imagine driving down the busiest street in your city with all drivers filled with Holy Spirit self-control. That might be a peaceful drive home! Imagine yourself driving during rush hour filled with self-control. How different would your drive be?

Where I Need Help

Usually, I don’t need self-control to hold back road rage, but it happens occasionally. Usually my need for self-control raises its head in the food department.

  • Eating for Comfort:

You know those days when you really deserve that cookies and cream milk-shake or that caramel-crunch iced coffee from Starbucks? These aren’t terrible, but they’re not good for me either. I often soothe my emotions with food. I know I’m not alone. A few years ago I wrote an article on steps to take when you need food control. These were the steps:

The first thing we think of when it comes to self-control is often food, but self-control is needed in so many other areas. One of them is judgment.

  • Taking offense:

I don’t think of myself as a judgmental person, but recently, I’ve struggled with making knee jerk judgments and taking offense. Self-control in this area would really help me keep perspective and not take everything personally. God whispered to a friend of mine one day, “It’s not personal; it’s personality.” That is so good, isn’t it?

If I can remember that personality is often the culprit when I’m offended or hurt, I would be much more able to respond graciously rather than boiling on the inside. This may happen to you while scrolling through Social media. This is a hot button for many of us. That being said, my cell phone is another area where I could use self-control.

Help! I Can’t Stop Scrolling!

woman cell phone

  • Scrolling on my phone: 

I really didn’t mean to make this an Andy’s confession post, but I’m just keeping it real and letting you know you’re not alone. Lately my obsession has been Zillow. My grandbabies live too far away, and well, a girl can dream to live next door to them. But it’s not just Zillow; it’s YouTube and Instagram and Facebook, and all the things that can keep us on our phones for hours. Self-control seems so far away. But I’ve found a solution. The best way to stay off my phone is to charge it away from my bedside. Sometimes we need to remove the temptation.

Read the Bible for self-control

Read Scriptures to Nurture this Virtue

Though removing the temptation (like throwing away all the Christmas candy before you eat it) is  one way to stay away from whatever tempts your self-control, it’s not always possible. This is why we need Holy Spirit to produce what our human heart can’t. One way His Spirit fills and changes us is by the power of His Word.

Psalm 37 spoke to me concerning my offense I’d experienced. I love when you open up your Bible to the perfect scripture.

Refrain from anger and turn from (leave behind) wrath;

do not fret—it leads only to evil.

For those who are evil will be destroyed (or cut off,)

    but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

Psalm 37: 8-9 (addition mine)

 

This is a good scripture, but I dug deeper, and that’s when the Lord spoke. Look at these words studies:

  • Wrath: anger, rage, and indignation.
  • Indignation: anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment.

“Perceived as unfair treatment” leaped off the page, and took a scalpel to my human heart. I never thought I dealt with indignation, but this definition showed me otherwise. I had been offended because I perceived I was being treated unfairly. This conviction freed me. Completely. The hurt disappeared.

If you’ve been offended lately, let the Lord soothe the wound and restore your hope and focus on the promises of God.

Self-Controlled Parenting

Most of my self-control relational issues these days deal with adults, but that’s not always been the case. You might notice, that my struggles with self-control don’t mention children, but that’s because I’m a grandma  (Bubbie) and can give the children back when their parents arrive. However, when I was a stay-at-home mom with three littles, Galatians 5:22-23 was often recited throughout the day. By the time I got to “self-control,” I had some. Parenting is hard!

I really wanted self-control as a parent, that’s why I prayed for it and used scripture to help me. Self-control is one of the Fruit of the Spirit that involves our participation–our effort. I love what Christina writes on her blog, Gentle Christian Parenting:

Spiritual self-control cannot happen without the Holy Spirit. You need to depend on him and draw upon the power and strength you have been given in Christ through the Holy Spirit in order to practice self-control well. So really, as people of faith, we might do better to call it “With the help of the Holy-Spirit control.” But there’s another important aspect of self-control in the bible. We are told to choose self-control in the bible. It is both Holy Spirit empowered and by our own choice.

Gentle Christian Parenting

parenting self-control

Can You Choose it?

Is it possible to choose self-control? That’s a really good question, and I think the answer is yes. But the choice is only possible and healthy with the empowerment of Holy Spirit. We are all a work in progress. All hand-made by the creator with different personalities and gifts. The way we think affects our reactions, and that means what we put into our minds will affect our emotions. If we’re constantly listening to others’ negative reactions (like on social media) it will rub off, and it won’t help our restraint.

Soak in the truth of God’s Word and let it affect your thoughts. We may struggle choosing self-control, but it is always possible to choose filling our mind daily with God’s truth.

 

Other articles on control:

Control What We Can Control

Andy Lee

Andy Lee is an event speaker, blogger, YouTuber, and award winning author of three books, A Mary Like Me: Flawed yet Called; The Book of Ruth Key-Word Bible Study: 31 Days to Hope and Promise,and Radiant Influence: How an ordinary girl changed the world.She passionately teaches how to find the life in God's Word in order to live abundantly. You can catch her life giving message weekly on Instagram and YouTube. She also provides monthly Bible reading plans on her website www.wordsbyandylee.com.

More Posts

2 comments

  1. Amen Andy
    I like your “self-confession posts”
    And yes self-control – the Golden ring!!
    And Amen ! Only the Word has the power to transform our thoughts!
    Thanks for sharing!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *