Flowers, Candy, and Me


This was the ninth Valentine’s Day without my husband.

The first one after his death, I cried all week. There was no one to give me flowers or candy, no one to take me out to an over-priced dinner with a rose on the table, and no one to kiss me goodnight. It was a gloomy day, not one I cared to repeat,

The next year, I decided that I wanted a better Valentine’s Day but there wasn’t anyone special in my life. I wasn’t even dating anyone. So who could I find who would give me those gifts? Who would know exactly what I wanted? And who would never leave me like my husband did?

Who would be my Valentine?

I’m my own Valentine

Then it hit me – the only one who qualified to be my valentine was ME. I knew the kind of flowers that made me smile, I loved my favorite chocolates, and I would never leave me.

So I bought my own brightly-colored daisies and Dove® dark chocolates and fixed myself a lovely dinner at home – much cheaper than eating out. And you know what? It was a delightful holiday, one that I’ve repeated every year since.

What I learned through that experience is that I don’t have to depend on someone else for my happiness. I can choose to be happy, and if I let myself down, I have no one to blame but … well … you know.

So if you have nothing or no one to look forward to, create and anticipate your own experience. It may be too late for Valentine’s Day this year, so plan for the next one. Or you can orchestrate your own day to will make you feel special, whether with friends or alone.

Buy flowers at the grocery store, which is much cheaper than having a florist deliver them.

You can even get one of those fancy heart-shaped boxes of candy if you want. After all, no one needs to know it’s for you! If anyone asks, just say, “I think my sweetheart will love this one.” Then go home and eat till your heart is full and your heart box is empty (if you’re that hungry). You’ve probably been waiting for permission to do just that.

Take time to love yourself. You’ll be with you till death do you part.

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